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He turned around and strode up to Margaux, his desperation to have a life that was enough without having to give his heart away completely prompting him to slide an arm around her waist and tug her close. He rocked his hips against hers, pressing her core tight to him so she could feel his cock.
The same cock that stayed limp, just as it had with Elena.
“One last time?” he said, feeling even more desperate now. “You want it. Me. My huge cock, which despite its current condition, has never failed you before. Just say yes, and I’ll fuck you hard from behind the way you love, my hand twisted in your hair, yanking your head back as I rut and ram your sweet pussy.”
Margaux shook her head, and though she didn’t push away, that’s all it took for Julian to let her go. “I’m sorry, but even if you’re not on the other side, Julian, I am. It’s time I put my heart out there, and like you, fate has given me my opportunity.”
Was that jealousy that was stirring in him? No, it was merely disbelief. She’d found someone already? In the time since they’d seen each other?
“Who is he?” he asked, his voice curious and kind.
“Garrett.”
Garrett.
The man she met in Corfu right before she met Wesley.
“How?”
“He contacted me. Out of the blue. A few days after we last saw each other.”
“Holy fuck,” he breathed.
Margaux laughed. “Holy fuck indeed.”
Julian grinned. He could tell by the sparkle in Margaux’s eyes now, the sparkle that hadn’t been there until she’d mentioned Garrett, that their reunion had been a happy one. And he was happy for her.
She was on the other side. And even though he never would be, that didn’t mean he didn’t wish he could.
He took her hand, led her back to the couch, and they both sat down. “Tell me. Tell me about your Garrett.”
45
For twenty minutes, Margaux told Julian about the man who’d tracked her down. They’d met three times already, and each time it was as if she was reliving that moment when they’d first seen each other in Corfu. In many ways, he was very different from her Wesley. Quieter. Less commanding. Not nearly as sophisticated. He didn’t come from money, and she didn’t give a whiff about that. And, she said, he was no sex god, but he came damn close.
Julian smiled. “Now that is good to hear. Now I can walk away knowing you will be well taken care of. That is what you want, right? For me to walk away? For good?”
She hesitated, then said, “I’ve told Garrett about you. He’s not threatened, bless him. When I said it would be over between us and I only wanted him, he believed me.”
“So you don’tneedme to walk away?”
“I will always love you, Julian. Will always want you in my life as the friend you are, but your woman . . . ”
“Skylar,” he reminded her. “And I told you, Margaux. It’s not that way with us.”
“So you said. You also said you aren’t in love with her. But you know, my dear boy, love can hit in the moment it takes to exhale.”
“I’m breathing just fine.”
“Your breath caught in your throat before you said her name.”
“And soon, that’s all she’ll be. A catch in my breath when I remember her . . . and what we could have been. Unlike you, I’m afraid my free will is stronger than fate, Margaux. And I don’t choose her. I choose me. My life. The same as it’s always been.”
“Safe,” Margaux said.
Fuck it. Julian wasn’t going to argue with her. “Safe,” he agreed.
“And lonely.”
