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I turn toward her with my heart squeezing and my eyes stinging. “We’d never just take him. But if Finn ever wants to live with us, we’d welcome him, of course. But for that to even be a possibility, we’d have to have some kind of life beyond the mafia. I just don’t know if that will ever happen. Kieran says it will. But both of us could be killed. The safest place for Finn is with Nikki and Marcus for the foreseeable future. That’s what we want to talk to Nikki and Marcus about, to reassure them that we’ll only do what’s right for everyone. Them included.”
Ariel lets out a held breath. “I knew you would be careful, but I didn’t know what Kieran might insist. I know that they’ll do everything they can to make sure Finn is safe and has a good life, just like they have done for these last seven years. You know they truly love him, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do. I’ve never doubted that.”
She reaches for me, wrapping me in arms that have hugged me so many times during so many hard points in my life.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I whisper into her hair.
“I am too. It was hell around there without you.”
I set her away from me, holding her hands with anger boiling up from a dark pit inside of me. “I heard he hurt you. I’m so sorry for everything that happened. My father’s such a bastard.”
“I’m fine. Now, don’t think about him until you have to. The most important thing right now is keeping yourself healthy and strong for the days ahead.”
She gives me a onceover. Then a disapproving frown. “Are you eating?”
“Yes, mother,” I say as I laugh. “Didn’t you see the way Eva was feeding us?”
“I’m talking about vegetables, silly. Champagne and tarts only go so far. But I’ll get you straightened out once we move into that mega-mansion.”
Her smile shifts, and her dimple starts to show. “Now... Tell me that you told that man you love him, because if you haven’t, I think you need to ASAP. He’s mad for you. He always has been. I remember him following you around that estate throwing murder eyes at anyone that got near you.”
Color starts to tinge my cheeks as I think about Kieran being fixated on me. “Really? How did I not notice that?”
She pats my burning cheek and laughs. “You must have noticed something if he got you pregnant, because I’m pretty sure just looking at you didn’t do the job.”
Her smile is true, but her eyes turn a shade more serious. “Girl, I know you had your reasons, but I’m still going to rib you over the fact that you didn’t tell me you had some kind of wild night with the man. That had to be pretty damned incredible.”
Wearing my own wicked grin, I admit, “It was. He’s... actually really romantic in an over-the-top-alpha-growly-sexy kind of way. He literally blew my virgin mind the day after my eighteenth birthday. And he’s still blowing my mind. I mean last night was—‘wow’—that’s such a pathetic word for this thing between us.”
Fanning her own neck so hard it lifts her hair, Ariel says, “Good for you, girl. Now, we need to go, because if we keep talking about this, I’m going to have to call Declan to deliver that box.”
The mood is light on the car ride to Nikki’s house. Kieran even drives at a speed that won’t get him a speeding ticket. I get to pick the music, an eighties station which they both finally approve of after several minutes of debate. Ariel and Kieran talk about his favorite foods.
It feels so normal and incredibly good. The people I love are with me. I’m on my way to see Finn. The sun is shining. Spring is blooming and my heart is warm with new tendrils of hope growing over the old scars.
For a few minutes, I can ignore the thunderclouds forming on the horizon.
Until we walk in the door and the mood is frantic.
Not birthday party frantic, the kind of frantic that only happens when something is terribly wrong.
Nikki and Marcus are in the kitchen. He is clenching his cell phone hard enough to make his knuckles blanch. As we enter, he paces away from us and says, “Yes, he was here a couple of hours ago. No. He didn’t say anything. He has dark hair and is wearing a blue Cubs T-shirt and dark jeans with orange and blue sneakers.”
Nikki’s face is streaked with tears. Her voice is so raw and wracked with sobs it’s hard to understand when she says, “Finn is missing.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE
In front of me Carra sways, I wrap her in my arms, only to have to reach out and steady Nikki too. Keeping Carra tucked against me, I guide her and the woman who’s raised our child to a chair at the kitchen table.
Ourmissingchild.
God.
But I can’t focus on that right now, or I won’t be able to function. I won’t be able to breathe.
I turn that part of my brain off for now, because my kid needs me to step up. No job has ever been more important than this one.
