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“Well yeah, you’re hiding that you used to be some kind of big mean dude,” I told him.
“And also, it was for their protection.” Aaron adjusted himself. “In fact, I used to use a different name when I was with Natalie. I never wanted her to learn my real name, as it was associated with that life,” he explained.
My jaw dropped.
“Wait, so you’re using a fake name with me?” I exclaimed.
Aaron laughed.
“No…I told myself that the next time I fell for someone, I wouldn’t lie to them. And well, you’re the one who is learning about the real me. The true me. My old name…was Stephen. It was the name that I used back when I was in the gang. Steve the Steelheart. That’s what they called me, or just Steelheart. I was…one of the best out there,” he explained.
I looked at Aaron. I never thought this attractive and hardened man would be a biker gang member.
“Wow. This is…a lot to take in. so this is it. this is the real you, right?” I asked.
“Yes. But I covered my tracks and used Aaron once I left the gang. I couldn’t do it anymore. After losing Natalie and Emily, I knew for a fact that…I couldn’t take another loss,” he said.
I imagined it was hard, given that there was so much at stake.
To think that Aaron would do this to himself, harm himself in this way, and live to tell the tale. It surprised me, and I nodded.
“Wow, this is…a lot you know,” I told him.
“I know. But I appreciate you listening to me, McKenzie. I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with this. But ever since I listened to what you said, I realized that…I should’ve been a better parent to Emily. She’s a wonderful girl, but when it got out that I was part of a gang and did terrible things, she didn’t want anything to do with me. And there was…that one time when a rival gang threatened Natalie. I hid them and was able to get them off my back, but I still regretted everything. I wished that…things went differently. That’s also why I didn’t tell anyone about this. The last thing I wanted was for another person to come after them or me,” Aaron explained.
I understood. He did this to protect his family, and to protect himself.
“You did this for your family. That’s what matters,” I told him.
“It does. Thank you, McKenzie. I did put them in danger with my actions, and I still regret how it fell out. Natalie served the divorce papers almost immediately after finding out. She was pissed, and trust me, I didn’t blame her,” he said.
I would be too, but he was being transparent with me now, and I could see the honesty within the cold, blue eyes.
“I get it. Thank you for telling me everything, Aaron. I’m happy to hear from you,” I told him.
He grinned.
“Thank you for listening to me. I’m glad that…you get it. It’s a hard thing to say, to come to terms with the past, and to…be honest about the terrible things you did. I was a godawful person but telling you about this helps to ease the blow, you know,” he said.
I understood that. I mean, it was like coming to terms with the darkness that sat within you. I knew that if I had a similar situation to his, I would be abashed and unable to talk about it with anyone else. In fact, I probably wouldn’t even talk about it.
“Why are you telling me this? Not that I mind but—”
“Because you’re the first person that’s understood. You get me. You’re the first to see the walls come down,” he replied.
I understood. It made sense that he would be embarrassed to talk about any of this sort of thing.
I touched his hand. “Well, I understand. You should know that…it’s in the past. It’s not who you are now, right? Right now, you’re a guy who hides the truth because you’re scared of what others will say, but you’re not a bad person. You’re a guy with a good heart. Your past is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.”
Maybe it was because I understood what he was going through. Hiding yourself and pretending that everything was okay was not easy for a lot of people. So, I got why Aaron acted the way that he did.
“You really do get it, right?” he asked.
I touched his shoulder and pulled him towards me. To think this grumpy boss had a past like this. Maybe that was why he acted so aloof. To hide the truth from others, so they didn’t learn about why he did what he did.
“I do. I get it. Your past is nothing to be sad about. And I’ll…listen, whenever you need to talk.”
For a second, neither of us said a word. We didn’t need to. Instead, our bodies did all the talking.
