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Hardly.
She hadn’t wanted to run, but he had asked her to marry him.
Marry him!
Of course, after he’d said it and she had made the quip about words spoken in the heat of the moment that he would regret in the morning, he had gone silent. It would’ve been so much better if he’d said something—
I’m only kidding.
I’m serious, but take your time.
Anything!
Instead, he had reverted into the sullen, silent Daniel that she’d feared all those years ago. Only this time, she didn’t fear that he would hurt her. On the contrary, it was her glib retort that had injured him gravely.
She wasn’t sure if she hated herself more for that or because his words had rendered her so numb.
Why? Why had he ruined the otherwise good thing that they had going on?
Her heart twisted. The perverse thing was she didn’t want to lose him. But she wasn’t ready to commit. She didn’t even know what tomorrow held, much less if she ever wanted to spend the rest of her life with somebody.
The next morning, he brought her a cup of coffee in bed.
“Do you need some time to think about things?” he asked.
“Things?” The word was so vague she wasn’t sure if things meant the two of them or the proposal. Was it a proposal?
“I meant what I said. I want to marry you, Elle.”
Yes, it was a proposal.
Oh, no.
“Daniel.” She was still naked in his bed. She was covered by the sheets and had her knees pulled up to her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible, willing herself to disappear.
She didn’t want to marry anyone. But he wasn’t just anyone. She didn’t know.
“Daniel, I have to be honest with you. The thought of getting married, of putting on another big white dress and walking down the aisle with all eyes on me makes me want to hyperventilate.”
She could feel the gold necklace between her breasts. His hand was on her arm. And of all the ridiculous things, she liked it there. She craved his touch. It was soothing. It was a touchstone, but somehow, she still managed to short-circuit when her focus strayed from that isolated feeling. Because there it was—marriage. It made her mouth dry and her palms sweaty. It made her head swim and her heart hammer in her chest.
“It doesn’t have to be a big to-do. It can be us and your family.”
She tried to take in a deep breath, but there didn’t seem to be enough oxygen in the room to fill her lungs.
“We can wait until Aidan is out of the hospital,” he said, but the blood was rushing so loudly in her ears that she barely heard him add, “Chloe could be the flower girl.”
When she didn’t answer, he said, “We don’t have to do it right now. We can wait.”
It was the implied BUT at the end of the sentence that sent her over the edge.
BUT I need for you to commit now. BUT I need for you to assure me you won’t run. BUT I need for you to promise me you’ll move back to Savannah... And that meant she was putting herself at the mercy of someone else, putting her heart in his hands and trusting he wouldn’t break it. Daniel had all but admitted she was the one he hadn’t been able to forget because she was the one who’d remained out of his reach; she’d been unavailable.
What would happen once she’d agreed to be his? Once the chase was over and he’d caught her?
“I can’t. I need to go.” It was almost an out-of-body experience, as if she was floating above them looking down and seeing herself shove the coffee mug into his hand as she pushed away the top sheet and climbed out of bed.
His crew was at the inn working, but when it got to be 10:00 a.m. and he hadn’t appeared, she texted him.
What time is the meeting about Aidan? I would like to go with you.
She held her breath waiting for his reply. Because the chance of him not replying made her heart ache so bad it felt like it would break into a million tiny pieces. She was such a freak. She didn’t want to lose him, but she didn’t want to marry him. At least not right now.
Enough time had passed that she thought he might not reply, or at least not immediately—and it made her unspeakably sad—but then his answer appeared on the screen.
1 p.m.
* * *
If Daniel could’ve kicked himself, he would’ve. What happened to playing it cool, not pressuring her, letting things unfold naturally?
