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“Six hundred pounds a month, it included rent and bills. The only other thing I had to pay for was food,” I explain. Maximus jumps to his feet, but Christian quickly looks at him before he can say anything.
“Sit down, we will discuss it later, Jasmine has been through enough,” he says firmly as Maximus does as he’s told.
“Where did that money come from? I’m guessing you weren’t struggling until you needed to pay for tuition fees as well?” Jason asks. I shake my head.
“I could earn enough for the house, but the rent on the apartment and the school fees together was too much, so I sold things,” I answer, quickly taking another sip of my drink.
“What did you sell?” he asks; I finish my drink and Jason takes the glass from my hand. “Jazzy, I asked you a question. What did you sell?” he asks firmer this time.
“Nothing illegal or myself!” I snap staring at him. I would never be desperate enough to sell myself. “I sold some clothes, DVDs, CDs, old costumes, my laptop, and my car. Anything I didn’t immediately need basically.”
“Why didn’t you come to us?”
I look up at Christian and I watch as he sits forward leaning on his knees. His look intensifies and I can’t help feeling bad, I’ve disappointed him, and I’ve hurt him by not coming to him when I needed help. I messed up.
“Why didn’t you come to us and tell us what was going on? You know we would have helped you in a heartbeat, we’d have never let things get this bad.”
“I couldn’t,” I whisper as look into his blue eyes trying desperately to stay calm. “I couldn’t face telling you I was failing, that I was hanging on by a thread and couldn’t see a way out on my own. I was ashamed and scared of what you would think of me. I hate that you would be disappointed in me.” I take a deep breath as I look down at my hands which are fiddling with the cuff of my jumper. “It’s not like I’m even your problem anymore,” I whisper.
“When are you going to realise you matter to us, shorty? That we’re not your parents or those arseholes you called friends. We actually give a fuck!” Maximus snaps. I lean back putting more space between us, surprised by his outburst. Jason’s hand moves with me, he doesn’t try to move away, if anything he moves closer. I’ve never been more thankful for him than at this moment.
“Look it’s getting late, everyone’s exhausted, physically and emotionally. Why don’t we call it a night and we can carry this conversation on when everyone has rested and calmed down,” Jason suggests next to me as he looks over at Maximus. I look up and see Christian nodding before Sean and Maximus agree as well.
“Do you have class in the morning?” Christian asks, I shake my head.
“We aren’t back until Monday, I have three days off,” I answer. “I have an evening shift in the pub tomorrow. I start at six,” I add nervously.
“No you don’t I told that prick you quit tonight,” Jason replies quietly. I turn to say something but the look on his face tells me I’ll be wasting my breath. Plus, I’m too tired to argue right now.
“Then tomorrow we will sit down and come up with a game plan. You need to be honest and tell us what you really need, and we will get everything right again.”
I stand to leave, knowing I’ve been dismissed and needing some time to clear my head. Jason and Christian get to their feet too, but it’s Christian who steps in front of me.
“I’m sorry you’ve been going through all this alone, but we are here now and like Maximus said, in his undignified way, you matter to us, more than you will ever know.”
I look up at Christian as he smiles softly at me, I take a step forward and wrap my arms around his waist as I rest my face against his broad chest. Christian holds me tightly in his arms whilst he rests his cheek against my head. It’s like he is holding me together and it’s just what I need at this moment.
“Thank you.”
“Anything for you, sweetheart you know that,” he whispers before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I step back from him.
“Do you remember where your room is?” Jason asks. I nod as I force a small smile. “You head up then. I’ll come and check on you in a bit,” he says before kissing me on the forehead.
“Okay,” I whisper. Before walking around the two of them and heading towards the door. As I reach the other sofa Sean stands up and pulls me into his arms, placing a kiss on my cheek.
“Night princess, get some rest,” he says with a small smile. I nod as I turn to see Maximus standing in front of me. He pulls me into one of his bear hugs, and I instantly relax against him.
“Sorry for getting worked up, shorty,” he sighs into my hair.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. Maximus stands back and cups my face in his big hand.
“No, it’s not. I wasn’t mad at you, just the situation. I could never be mad at you; you know that right?”
I don’t trust myself to answer, so I nod and start chewing on my bottom lip. Maximus looks at me for a second before kissing me on the cheek.
“Good night, shorty.”
“Night.” I manage to whisper back before rushing from the room as the tears burn the back of my eyes and my throat contracts. I only just manage to get in my room before the floodgates open.
