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I have no idea who she’s trying to impress. I once thought she could change, that she had when she met Tommy. But I was wrong. No normal person could sit there and watch her ex-husband being shot and not show the slightest ounce of remorse. Tommy was a lot of things, but he was good to her most of their time together. She can’t say he didn’t make her happy because he did.
“Why are you both here? I’m tired and want to sleep.” I move towards the bed and sit on the edge of it.
“See this is your problem Jasmine, everything has always been about what you wanted, or what your father wanted. None of you has ever thought about what I wanted. Did I want kids? No! But your father refused to let me get rid of you, and then he was gone, and I was stuck with you.”
I stare at her and for a moment I’m speechless. She was stuck with me? I was stuck with her!
“If you hated me that much, why didn’t you leave me with my grandparents? Or put me into care?” I ask thinking there is no way she could get any lower, but boy was I wrong.
“I did leave you with your grandparents and if you’d just been there when you were supposed to have been rather than staying at Ambers you would be dead with them too!”
My face and stomach drop as I stare at my mother, the one who gave birth to me, as the realisation dawns on me.
“The gas explosion wasn’t an accident, was it?”
“Of course, it wasn’t! It took weeks to get it set up, allowing a small leak here or there so the authorities knew there was an issue, so it didn’t look suspicious. Then the night of the explosion I thought you were in your bed, but no you had snuck out!”
“Why the fuck did you kill them? After everything they did to try and help you, you murdered your own parents. For what?” I scream as my eyes and throat burn. I feel like I can’t catch my breath.
“The money of course! If you had died with them, I’d have got it all. But no! You had to sneak out and live! I couldn’t kill you after that, it would look suspicious so instead, I had to get it as and when you gave it to me. Why do you think Tommy charged you rent? It was me who put the idea in his head! I wanted what was rightfully mine! It should have gone to me, not you!”
I stare at her unable to process it all. This woman is evil, she is the definition of a psychopath. She killed her parents and attempted to kill her daughter all for money. All so she could keep living the life she wanted full of expensive clothes, holidays in the sun and an endless amount of drugs. She could have done so much with her life. But this is how she turned out.
When Mum was in school, she was smart. She went to university to become a lawyer. Even when my father was still around, she worked hard and kept herself in the life she had become accustomed to. But the problem was she wanted more, she always wanted more. Even from an early age, I remember her complaining that the nice handbag she wanted was too expensive and Dad had to work extra shifts to get it for her. The house wasn’t big enough she wanted a separate dining room, not a kitchen diner. He worked so hard to keep up with her spending and her drug habit I never blamed him for leaving. This is why I will never take the money the guys splash on me for granted. I know if they lost everything tomorrow, I would be happy as long as we have each other. Their love is all I want from them, but my love was never enough for my mother. She never loved me and even though I spent years trying to gain it, I have now finally concluded that she never will love me the way I wished she would.
But to hear that she killed her parents and the only reason I’m still here is that I snuck out, and again she doesn’t show one ounce of remorse for what she’s done. I look back at things she has done in her life, the way she stood there when I was ten and let a man touch me inappropriately just so she could get some drugs. She never cared about me, and her new revelation proves that.
I look across the room at her and see her smiling at me, she reminds me of the Joker from the Batman films. I realise then that she does feel something for what she’s done. She feels pride in knowing that she killed her parents. She must know that she has just broken that last thread of hope I held on to that she was a decent person deep down. There is no hope for her, not now, not ever.
“You are sick,” I growl at her. That smug smile instantly being removed from her face.
“I’m sick?”
“Yes mother, you are sick!” I snarl through gritted teeth as I grip the seat I’m sitting on so hard I feel my nails breaking.
“If I’m sick what the fuck does that make you?” she snarls, with so much hate in her eyes.
“Me?” I yell jumping to my feet. “In what world am I anything like you?”
Mum jumps to her own feet and Taylor holds her back as she tries to launch herself at me.
“You, my darling slut of a daughter, are fucking four men at the same time. Not only are they your stepbrothers you call them all daddy! What the fuck is that about? You are a grown-ass woman who still has daddy issues after how long? Get a grip of yourself for Gods sake!”
“At least they give a shit about me and look after me! They have done more for me than you ever have! They love me for me!”
“They love you? Please! The O’Reilly’s know nothing about love, they are using you like they use everyone else!”
Taylor lets go of her and she storms forward and slaps me across the face. As I jump forward to punch her Taylor grabs me and pushes me back down on the chair. He keeps me in place by holding my shoulder as she leans over me.
You think they love you? Well, maybe it’s time you learnt some hard facts about the O’Reilly’s and why they could never love anyone.”
???
It’s late into the night and I can’t sleep. Mum and Taylor left long ago and what Mum revealed to me is still swimming around in my head. Does it change the way I look at my daddies, I hate to say it but yes. Do I still want to save them and get the hell out of here, also yes.
Earlier tonight I managed to sneak the phone into the bathroom with me and sent a message to Terry. Now I just need to wait and hope they have received the message and will come for me before Hudson gets to me again or before my mum decides to finish what she started when she tried to kill me with my grandparents. Please Daddies, please don’t leave me here alone anymore, I want to come home.
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