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“Not,” Jay replies.
“Come on Jay, we’ve not seen you in weeks. Come on out and have a few drinks.”
I sit up from Jays lap and move away from him as his friends words make me feel guilty. He looks at me.
“No, I’m staying here, Sadie isn’t well.”
“You’ve gotten boring mate.”
“No, I found somebody I enjoy spending time with,” Jay growls as he hangs up and puts the phone back on the side.
“You don’t have to stay in all the time. You can go out,” I say looking at him. Jay runs a knuckle over my cheek.
“I don’t want to. I want to be here with you and the little one-eyed git,” he teases. But it’s not enough to ease the guilt and fear that’s building in my gut. I pick up Binx and bury my face into his fur to avoid looking at Jay.
“I think you should go home,” I whisper.
“What?” I hear the confusion in his voice but my mind is made-up.
“You should go home, Jay. I’m tired and just want to get some space tonight.”
Jay tries to get me to look at him but I’m not ready to face him yet.
“Sweetheart, look at me.”
I don’t, I just shake my head which causes pressure to build behind my eyes.
“Sadie. I said look at me.”
I take a deep breath and force myself to look at him and nearly buckle under the intensity of his eyes. “Don’t do this. Don’t push me away because of one phone call,” he begs as he reaches out to place a hand on my cheek. I move away from him knowing the contact will make me back down.
“Please go Jay. I’m not feeling well. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“No.”
I look at Jay and shut my emotions down as I stared back at him.
“It wasn’t a request. Leave Jay we both know you’ll be sick of staying in soon enough. We need to distance ourselves before...” I can’t finish the sentence.
“Before what, Sadie?” he asks.
“Before one of us gets hurt,” I add. Jay shakes his head as he climbs off the bed and starts pacing with his head in his hands.
“What have I got to do to show you that I’m not going to leave? I’m here every day that I’m not forced to be away because of work. I hold your hair when you’re sick, I wrap you in my arms when you cry from the pain. What more do I need to do to show you I’m here for the long run?” Jay drops to his knees beside the bed and looks at me with pleading in his eyes.
“Tell me, sweetheart, please. I can’t lose you.”
I can’t breathe, my head is pounding again, and the specks of light cloud my vision. I close my eyes trying to clear them.
“Please Jay, I’ll call you tomorrow,” I whisper as I clutched my head. I feel him place a kiss on the top of my hair.
“I’m only going because you are making yourself ill. This isn’t over Sadie. You are mine.”
I moved to start taking his shirt off, but he places a hand over mine. “Keep it, I will get it back later.”
I don’t look as I hear him walk out of the room. I listen to the sound of his footsteps as he descends the stairs and wait for the front door to close before I fall onto the pillow and cry as my heart breaks.
Chapter Fifteen
