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The women he dated understood him and he understood them and gave them exactly what they wanted. Lily hadn’t asked for him to kiss her, although she’d kissed him back and hadn’t complained.
She hadn’t even rebuffed him when he’d mentioned that he’d like to kiss her again. Actually she hadn’t said anything. She’d simply smiled and walked toward the van and gotten on with her day. He’d gotten on with his.
And that brought him full circle: she was way too good for him; she deserved much more than he could offer. She’d confirmed his suspicions that she was the marrying type. Hell, she’d been engaged once. Why had the guy let her go? She was a rare find for anyone who wanted that kind of life.
If he were smart, he’d stick to the Giselles and Evas and Candices of his world. The ones who knew and appreciated his no-strings-attached rules. He wouldn’t fall into the trap of wanting what he shouldn’t want, the way his father had.
His old man’s lack of self-control had ruined a lot of lives, and Cullen wanted to be nothing like him. Still, he had his father’s DNA, didn’t he? He’d tried marriage and it hadn’t worked. Thank God he and Brenda had been too busy with their careers to make kids a casualty of their mistake.
Lily wanted marriage and kids. She should have them. It would be a crime for her not to be a mother and wife. She’d be damn good at it.
Cullen brooded in his leather club chair in his home office. He knocked back the rest of his glass of Scotch on the rocks, listening to the faint din of the television show that the kids were watching in the family room. Thoughts of his father knocked around his brain, bringing back bad memories Cullen would prefer to let go.
Having the kids and Lily here had excavated them.
But this was the reality check he needed.
Lily had been engaged once. It hadn’t worked out. He had no idea what she expected from future relationships. Their talk had been brief and he hadn’t had the time to learn what she liked, what turned her off, what she expected from the men she dated. Hell, for all he knew, he might not even be her type.
But he had pretty good instincts, and his instincts told him that she was traditional and looking for a committed, white-picket-fence-kids-and-dog kind of life.
He wasn’t the man who could offer her that.
The phone rang, pulling him out of his brooding.
His first thought was Lily?
He’d thought of her first. Before the hospital. She was off the clock. Why would she be calling him when she hadn’t been able to bring herself to call him today when she and the kids had needed help?
He got up and went to his desk to check the caller ID. It was a number he didn’t recognize, so he let it go to voice mail.
As soon as the message flashed on the screen, he picked it up.
“Hey, stranger,” came the familiar voice. “I’ll bet I’m the last person you thought would be calling tonight. But it’s me.”
Brenda? He became instantly wide-awake.
I’ll be damned.
It was as if his thoughts about marriage had conjured her, the only woman in the world he’d ever allowed to tempt him into violating his no-commitments rule. Except for the wayward thoughts he’d been having about Lily. The nanny. God, a shrink would have a field day with that one. Textbook 101. Sexual fantasy: doing the nanny.
He felt a pang of regret, ashamed of himself for even thinking of Lily in that context. She deserved better.
And how ironic that his ex-wife, Brenda, had called to subliminally remind him of that.
His marriage to Brenda had lasted a few months shy of two years before they’d called it quits.
“Well, babe,” the message continued. “I’m going to be in town soon and I wanted to see you. Actually there’s a chance you may be seeing a whole lot more of me whether you want to or not. There’s a practice in Celebration looking to take on a partner. So give me a call. I want to get together for dinner.”
She left her number, then sighed. It was an uncharacteristic sound for her, a lot more wistful and sentimental than Brenda had ever sounded when they were together.
“Call me, okay?”
She paused.
“I’ve been thinking about you, Cul. I miss you.”
Chapter Seven
