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It was the least he could do. He wasn’t going to let her stand out there alone or awkwardly in the foyer waiting for her ride.
She buttoned up her coat and twisted her scarf into place. Cullen shrugged into his jacket and they stepped into the cold night air.
They stood a respectable distance apart and were silent for a moment. He could virtually hear the wheels turning in her mind.
“Lily is a beautiful woman. She seems to genuinely care for the children.”
“She’s a second-grade teacher. She’s great with kids. I was lucky to find her.”
Brenda made a skeptical noise, half laugh, half derision.
“To care for the children, I mean,” he clarified.
Brenda sighed and gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “Some women are cut out for motherhood. I’m not. That’s just how I’m wired. I can deal with sick children, but I’m always happy to give them back to the parents.”
Cullen shoved his hands deeper into his coat pockets. It was so cold he wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed tonight. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. Ask me anything.”
There was a note of resignation in her voice, as if she were willing to play along but didn’t expect much.
“Why did you become a pediatrician if you’re not fond of children? Never could figure that out about you.”
She snorted. “One of the many mysteries of me. Let me say this—I don’t think it’s strange that you don’t necessarily want to live with your patients.”
“Touché.”
The cab pulled into the driveway. Brenda paused before she got into the car. “You know she’s in love with you. It’s written all over her face. I think you’re in love with her, too. Am I right?”
“Good night, Brenda,” he said.
She laughed again, though it sounded humorless. “Goodbye, Cullen.”
He stood there for a moment watching the cab’s taillights grow smaller as it carried her away. As the car disappeared into the night, he felt a weight that he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying vanish with it.
When he got back inside, Lily was in the kitchen finishing up what he guessed were the dinner dishes.
“It’s late,” he said. “Don’t worry about those.”
“I only have a few more left to do. It’s not a problem, really. I got the kids to bed while you were outside.”
He walked over and turned off the water she had running in the sink to rinse the dishes. She looked up at him, a startled expression on her beautiful face.
He looked at her, searched every inch of her face, needing to verify what Brenda saw. He needed to see it for himself, because he knew what he was feeling. He was in love with Lily Palmer, despite how he’d tried to drive her away, hoping that she would take the strange feeling that had been growing in him with her when she went.
His whole life, everybody he’d ever loved had left him. His dad had never wanted to stick around; his mother had died; Brenda had left him—had left their marriage—and when she left she had taken all his feelings, his entire capacity to love, with her. In a strange way, it was as if she returned everything she had taken.
Now, if he hadn’t already blown it, he knew exactly who owned his heart. “Will you forgive an idiot?”
She looked at him as if he were crazy. And he was. Crazy for her. Crazy for letting her go. “Can you be more specific?”
“Let’s just say it took dinner with my ex-wife to help me realize exactly what I was losing.”
Lily blanched.
For the love of God, could he make this sound any worse?
“Brenda came back to Celebration with her mind set on us reconciling. But we both realized tonight that my heart isn’t available.”
Lily frowned at him. He could see her wall going up again, as she opened her mouth to say something.
“It’s not available to her because it belongs to you. If you’ll have it. Please tell me you will. Or feel free to tell me I’m a fool. And you can walk away. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Yesterday, forgetting George brought up some personal issues that I’ll have to tell you about sometime. It triggered some bad memories. That, mixed with Brenda’s surprise appearance and realizing that I’m in love with you. I just— I didn’t handle it very well.”
