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She felt him pull away. It was an almost imperceptible move, but she felt it.
“The key words you just said were involved parent,” he said. “My schedule just doesn’t allow it. You’ve seen how many late nights I have. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”
There he was, talking in generalities again.
Whom wouldn’t it be fair to? The kids? Her?
Asking might seem pushy, although she needed to know his thoughts on this sooner rather than later. Was he talking about her raising the kids and him not being an active involved parent? Because even if he wasn’t talking about her specifically, she still wanted to point out that with or without the kids, whoever he was involved with would still have to endure the nights that he wasn’t home.
She couldn’t figure out how to make that sound right, so she went with a slight variation.
He shifted and put his arm that had been around her behind his head.
“Well, all I know is there’s no such thing as a perfect situation. Life is messy and unexpected, and everyone has to compromise. If you start overthinking, it can paralyze you.”
His eyebrows rose and fell, as if he were considering what she had said but was not entirely convinced.
“When I was growing up, my mother had to do it all. I was her only child, thank God. She worked and cooked and cleaned and cared for me, until I was old enough to help out. When I was old enough to see what was going on, I couldn’t help thinking how horribly unfair it was that my father had been a partner in bringing me into this world but couldn’t stay for the messy parts, as you call them.
“He was a total absentee father. He divorced my mom and came around every once in a blue moon to see me. Sometimes he’d say he’d be there, but he wouldn’t show. He was so undependable and selfish that I hated him. I vowed I would never be anything like him. He was a drunk, a womanizer and basically a despicable human being. The only time he ever deigned to give me any advice, he told me that women were no good. They were only out to get knocked up and bleed you dry.”
Cullen had a faraway look in his eyes and he harrumphed at something he was thinking.
Lily put her hand on his chest, drawing figure eights with the nail of her index finger. “What are you thinking?”
He looked at her and there was so much love in his eyes. “I was thinking that sometimes we don’t realize how much we resemble someone. Even if we don’t intend to repeat their mistakes.”
Lily knew he was talking about his own broken marriage and the revolving door of women that had been a part of his own life.
“I know his marriage to my mother was bad. Before he left, I remember them screaming at each other. I know he was no prize, but I wonder if that single bad situation kept him from finding real love. Maybe he missed out on someone like you? If anything could make me feel bad for the guy, that would be it.”
He leaned over, kissed her and made love to her one more time. Afterward they showered together and got ready to go back to normal. They had a practice run, which consisted of going downstairs and having a brunch of French toast and coffee. Lily made extra French toast for the kids and Sydney, who had even gone by to pick up George from his sleepover and was dropping him off with the girls.
“Can’t you whip up a batch of the cinnamon rolls that made me fall in love with you?” Cullen said.
“Not in time for breakfast. They have to rise for two hours before I can bake them. But if you’re a good boy I might be persuaded to make them for you tomorrow.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Let me show you just how good I can be.”
He kissed her soundly, until a knock at the front door and the persistent ring of the doorbell brought them back to reality.
The kids were home. They smiled at each other as they straightened their clothing, fixed their hair and put on their normal faces.
Lily answered the door while Cullen checked messages on his smartphone.
“We’re back!” said Sydney as Lily welcomed them.
In a burst of exuberance, the girls were all trying to show Lily their painted nails and the temporary tattoos that Sydney, who they proclaimed was the coolest person in the world, had helped them put on.
Even George seemed a little less surly than normal.
