Page 32 of Need


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I sat forward in the recliner, linking my fingers together across the span of my knees. “Maybe so. Maybe you’re right, Eva. But right now I don’t care about any of that. I care about you doing as you’re told. I care about what I still intend to do that pussy of yours. I care about showing you what it needs, but your head is getting in the way of your heart. And most of all, I care about showing you that you’re not in control of us anymore. Not even if we do get divorced, not even if we do go our separate ways—for good. The days of you running the show, calling the shots, in determining the direction of our relationship…they’regone. They’re over. And what’s most interesting, and what took me a long time to figure out…I think that’s exactly what you actually want. You don’twantto be in charge. You don’t want to be in control—of anything. And while I think your heart already knows this, your head’s…still getting in the way. Still in denial.”

She stared at me for a long while then, the silence between us growing heavier, taking on an almost… somber note.

Then she sighed, shaking her head. “I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. There isn’t much I think I really know anymore. But what’sactuallychanged? You still have your goals. I still have mine. You still like to do things a certain way, and—”

“Stability.” I almost spat the word.

It had been a bone of contention from even before we’d gotten engaged. My job—it had been the source of conflict from the beginning. And perhaps it would, after all, be part of the reason why this was falling apart.

Land speculation was not only capital intensive, it was risky. It tended to be feast or famine. While in good times it could be very lucrative indeed…in bad times, things could be very, very lean. I’d made that clear before we’d gotten married, of course, and she’d said that it didn’t matter.

Until it did.

It wasn’t as if I blamed her, really. She…needed certain things. For her own reasons. Very valid reasons. But itwaspart of the rift that had grown between us.

There was more to it than that, though, and what had happened during the past four days…was at the very heart of that. And about that, Ihadbeen right. It was cold comfort, that vindication, at the very moment when I’d realized, bitterly, that it wasn’t going to matter one bit.

She was still on the way out, regardless. She’d plotted her course, and she was sticking with it.

“Yes…stability,” she murmured. “Among other things. We’ve…grown apart. Sometimes…two people just…don’t fit anymore.”

“Is that what you really believe?” It was a waste of time to ask it. I couldn’t help it, though.

“I…I’m not sure, to be honest.” She shook her head slowly, gazing at the carpet. “Before this week…Iwascertain. Dead certain that I knew what needed to be done. That I’d made my decision. What was for the best.”

“But now…?” I loathed the uncertainty in my own voice.

“Now…I don’t think I can tell up from down anymore.” She gave me a wry smile. “You sure know how to throw a girl off her game. I’ll give you that, Nick.”

“You’d be giving me a lot more than that—ifyou saw this through, that is.”

She said nothing, though.

I looked over at the dining room, screaming inside at the bitter, cruel irony of it all. I stood and walked over, swiping the envelope from the dinner table.

“What’s…what is this?” She peered up at me as I handed it to her.

“All I know is that I’m supposed to give this to you on the fifth day—which is today. It explains the other conditions for this little…exercisewe’ve been going through this week. Beyond that, I have no idea what else it says.”

“Um, what otherconditions?” The color had drained from her face as her suddenly trembling fingers took the envelope.

“Open it and find out.”

“Did you know about this?” She held up the envelope, her lips thinning.

I nodded. “Thefullconditions, yes. But I damned sure didn’t imagine disclosing them to you with things going so fucking sideways…”

“What? What does that mean?” Her brows were knit then, an expression on her face that could be a harbinger of either growing anger—or deepening hurt.

“I’d thought by now that… I’d have gotten you to see, I guess. To understand where I’m coming from.” I looked away, disgusted with myself. “I wasstupidto think that, apparently.”

But it didn’t matter. I’d misread her. I’d misread everything.

It really did appear that, regardless of how much I fought it, how much I raged inside at the truth of it…we’d reached the end of the road.

The end ofus.

Paper tearing, the sound surprisingly jarring, brought me out of my momentary spiraling of bleakness.

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