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“Nick. I…this weekend. Last night, especially. It was…I don’t even know what to say. But you know what doesn’t need to be said. So, I won’t.”
“You don’t need to say anything.” I turned for the kitchen, doing my best to submerge my scowl. Letting her see my black mood, my heart breaking all over again… just wouldn’t do.
Because that’s what the old Nick would have done.
She’d made her decision. That was that. A clean break—finally.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Lord God, how it hurt. But it was—if it was what she really wanted—truly for the best.
I would go on. I would be okay, in time. A long time, perhaps. “I’ll make some coffee and drive you to the hotel.” I dropped a filter into the coffeemaker, trying to ignore how hollow inside I felt at that moment, like these were the actions of someone else, as if I were watching myself from third person perspective.
Stow it, Nick. It’s fucking done.
“You don’t need to…I called for a ride.” She strolled into the kitchen, her arms crossed under her breasts. “Got an Uber. I’ve got time to pack before my flight still.”
Even then, I couldn’t help but note how beautiful she looked. It didn’t matter what Eva wore. She always wore it very, very well.
“Yeah…okay.” I turned back to the coffee machine. I couldn’t bear to look at her any longer in that moment.
A chime sounded behind me. “Ah… ride’s here.”
I spun around slowly, and she came around the island, offering her hand. The only hint that this was affecting her as much as me was the tremble of her lower lip, the liquid brightness of her impossibly gorgeous eyes. “Nick. Thank you… for everything.” She looked down as I shook her hand. “I…this is so hard. I don’t know… what to say.”
“Don’t say anything,” I said, holding up a hand. “We’ll just fuck it up. Can’t even do goodbye right, these two.”
She smiled at my forced joke, but her eyes reflected the anguish in my heart.
Too bad it wasn’t enough.
Not enough, Nick. Never enough.
“I… better go.”
I nodded, leaning against the counter, just wanting this unbearable moment to be over with. “Fly safe, Eva.”
She looked back at me, her hand on the wall where it turned down to the foyer and the front door. “Nick? I…do you ever…” She winced, then looked away, her brow furrowed.
Every part of me wanted to ask her to finish that question.
But my heart knew it was a lost cause. I said nothing.
Eva blew me a kiss then, her eyes brimming.
And then she was gone.
Chapter 19
Nick
The back porch pad was humid, close visible wisps of steam rising up, sultry under the strong sunshine. The sky was clear blue, the morning’s rain evaporating from the last puddles still hanging on here and there on the concrete.
It had been hours, but every minute still seemed to move at a glacial pace. I’d made breakfast, but it had tasted like dust in my mouth, my appetite shot.
Why had I been so sure?
Had I really, though? The fundamental error I’d made was in assuming Eva had changed to the extent I had. I had been wrong about that.
Or more accurately, I’d overestimated the evolution I’d expected to see over those many months.
