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MOVING ON
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA 2022
Eden Myers steppedout of the shower and wiped the mirror clear. She never liked this part of the day. She much preferred when her eyes were closed, and she was dreaming of who she used to be. Every day since she’d made the decision, she felt the same way. She knew she could never be like the person she once was…the person she longed to be now. She’d had counseling and that had helped, but nothing could make her whole again. It would just take time to accept it, and how long that would be, no one could tell her.
At thirty-two years old, she was pretty, with long wavy brunette hair, amber eyes, a chiseled jawline, and perfect straight white teeth. Her lashes were long and curled, her eyebrows thick and angled just enough to soften her face and make her look…happy. Her lips were plump…no filler…and her nose was straight, slim, and turned delicately up at the tip. There wasn’t a blemish on her face. To anyone else, the picture couldn’t be more perfect. To her, she could see a battle-scarred shadow of her former bubbly self. She was tired. Tired summed up virtually everything about her. Tired of work, tired of people telling her everything would be OK…when it wasn’t…and tired of being tired. The person she thought would be her shelter in a storm had let himself be blown away in the first wind of change. Now she needed a change, and she knew that could only come from herself, so she was going to make it happen…Today.
She wrapped a towel around her and walked into her bedroom, picked up her dryer and proceeded to blow the comforting heat through her locks as she closed her eyes and pretended she was somewhere else. When she thought about herself lying on her back in a bikini with the sun beating down on her, reality slapped her in the face and she opened her eyes and set the dryer down on the side table.
She’d devoted her life thus far to building the perfect life with the man she loved, while planning for the dreams she could see unfolding before her. The dreams had turned to a nightmare, and she was left wondering…if there’s nothing left, there must be something coming. She laughed at that and said to herself, “That’s the girl, Edie…stay positive.” She thought about her nephew. Her sister’s only son, Nate. He called her Edie…everyone else was soformal. She loved that boy, like her own, and she knew he loved her too…like his momma had loved him. A tear rolled down each cheek when she thought about her sister, Jenny. She would have been two years older than Eden, still…if she hadn’t died three years earlier from cancer.
Eden looked at the note she’d written for Tomas, Nate’s dad…as she dried her cheeks with her fingers. Nate was a lucky boy. Tomas would never let him down. He would never have let Jenny down. He didn’t…he’d stuck with her right through, and even as her cancer was eating her up inside, he sheltered Nate from the emotional turmoil that felt like it was eating him up too.
Eden picked up a pen and added to the note: “Love you guys. Have a great time. I’ll see ya when I get back, whenever that’ll be. Love, Edie xx.”
She shuddered as she set the pen down. She was scared and exited. Anxious about what might come of this big adventure. She’d been with Grant, her husband, since college. They’d done everything together, but she’d had plenty of time in the last two years learning to be alone again.
Tomas had told her to travel light. “It’s so much easier without baggage,” he told her. She was certainly traveling light now…just her and her backpack.
She pulled on her socks, panties, and jeans. She picked up her credit card from the top of her bedside cabinet and slipped it into her pocket. She grabbed her phone and keys and placed them beside the note to Tomas…reminding herself to take off the house key from the car key fob so she could get back in when she came home. Just in case Tomas and Nate had decided to return home to Phoenix early.
Tomas was on a six-month sabbatical from his work, and Nate was getting homeschooled by him during that time. They had keys to her house, having stayed there several times in the last three years.
Eden couldn’t imagine staying away from home longer than a month, but she was determined to travel for as long as it took to find her old self once more.
She opened her drawer and pulled out three bras, putting two into her backpack, which was open on her bed, and holding the third one up to her breasts and clipping it behind, adjusting her boobs in the mirror. She pulled on a white T-shirt and a denim jacket.
She brushed her hair and put on a little natural-look makeup before throwing that and her toothbrush into her backpack.
She’d set a few other things on her dining room table the night before and she scooped them up and zipped them inside her bag as she pulled on her hiking boots.
She looked up at the clock and said, “Fuck! Late already.” She’d planned to call an Uber as soon as she got out the door to take her to the depot for her Greyhound ride to Lake Charles. She rushed to the door, flicking the deadlock, and pulled it behind her as she stepped out. She sucked in a deep breath as she looked across the neighborhood and smiled as she slipped her hand into her jeans for her phone.
A wave of anxiety flooded over her as her hand slid into the empty pocket. She quickly tried the other pocket, when it dawned on her…she’d left it on the dining table. As soon as she realized what she’d done, she turned back to the door and rested her forehead against it as she closed her eyes and wondered how the hell she was going to make it across the country if this was the start. She hit the door with her hands in frustration knowing full well she wasn’t about to get back inside…her keys were with her phone.
With a sigh of acceptance, she turned back around and started walking down the sidewalk. She had money…a lot of it…from years of building the dream, and with her card in her pocket and her pack on the back she strode off down the road ready to travel lighter than she’d anticipated.
She’d walked a hundred yards in the morning heat when she stopped to take off her jacket. Pulling her backpack off her shoulders, she set it down on the ground and took her jacket off. The sound of a Harley Davidson coming up behind her caught her attention. She heard it slow as it got nearer and as it cruised past the hunk riding it gave her a head nod. His brown hair was blowing in the breeze and the muscles in his arms were rippling as he changed gear and accelerated away. She’d instinctively returned the smile and found herself walking a little lighter already. She was still smiling when she reached the end of the road and held her hand out to hitch a ride to the bus depot.
She continued to walk as one vehicle after another passed without stopping. She dropped her arm and decided to try again when she hit the main drag.
She walked past the cemetery and looked through the gates and wondered how many people had their lives all mapped out only to find out they were one turn from the end of their final road.
She hadn’t realized she’d stopped walking and was no longer smiling. A car pulled up behind her and she stepped aside to let it pass through when she saw the words that someone had scrawled on the gatepost: “Life is never as we imagine it but imagine not having a life. Thank God you can read this.” So, she did. She looked up at the clear blue sky and said, “Thanks.” She felt grateful she had the chance to do whatever she was about to do. She couldn’t imagine what it was even going to be like, to travel across the country, on her own, not knowing where it was going to take her…but she was ready.
* * *
Cruz slowedhis bike instinctively when her saw the woman who had turned to look at him. For a fleeting moment he thought it was Wendy. She’d been on his mind all week. It was the reason he was out for a ride this morning. He nodded his head and accelerated away.
Cruz had only been back in New Orleans for three days, staying with his Jokers MC brothers at their clubhouse, until his friends from the Skulls MC arrived for theEasy Riderroad trip from New Orleans to LA that both clubs had decided to ride with one another. They weren’t following the exact same route as in the film…but it was close enough to call it that. He’d planned on cutting his ride short once he got to Flagstaff, Arizona, and heading to Phoenix, where he’d been living for the past three years.
He’d had enough of the partying with the Jokers and had one more thing to do before they were to start their ride the next day. He’d booked a room for the night to get some rest. He was looking forward to one good night of sleep.
Cruz stopped off to buy flowers and then carried on to the cemetery, idling slowly through the gates till he stopped at the grave of Wendy Hanson. There were no other words on her headstone…just the date-stamp of her life…1989 - 2019. He wondered whether she had any family. “I guess not,” he murmured as he placed the flowers on the ground. “We never knew each other long enough. did we, Wendy? Who knows where we would have been today.” He looked around…it was deserted this morning. He shuddered as he thought back to the night of the accident.
Three years earlier Cruz had pulled out of the parking lot, with Wendy on the back of his bike, when suddenly his world was on fire and the black cloak of death descended upon him. Wendy had died instantly. When he finally left the hospital weeks later, after being intubated in a coma while the doctors fought to save his life, he wasn’t sure whether he thought he was lucky or not. Had he died alongside Wendy, he wouldn’t have had to start living in hell.
It wasn’t so much the scars that covered his body that he struggled to deal with…it was the scars on his mind.
