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And neither would freedom.

“It’s too risky,” I whispered. But Natalie didn’t give up. She held onto my shoulder and leaned in until her big brown eyes were directly in front of mine.

“I won’t force you to go,” she said. “But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I didn’t try my damned hardest to get you to live like a normal fucking girl for one night.”

A normal fucking girl.

I pressed my nails harder into my palms. I expected pain. I expected a sharp reminder of reality, because clearly, I had lost my mind.

Was I really considering this?

No, absolutely not. Think of the basement. Think of the chains.

My obedience had earned me this apartment. This might be the most freedom I was ever going to get in this life.

My chest tightened. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t enough. It had worked for a while. Hell, I had been thrilled when my mother gave me this apartment to live in.

It had been four years. Four years down, and the rest of my life to go.

No fucking way.

“Lyra? Are you listening to me?”

“Sorry.” I shook my head. “What were you saying?”

A grin spread across her face once more. “I was saying, it’s one night. We’ll be back before midnight. You owe it to yourself to at least try.”

I glanced around my small studio apartment, taking in the perfection. It took me a long time to stop seeing this place as my prison and to begin seeing it for what it really was—my freedom. I had collected a bookshelf full of my favorite novels; my personal, miniature windows to the outside world when I had none. The framed photos of Natalie and I hung in a perfectly spaced gallery wall above my fluffy white couch.

My chest tightened even further as I looked at the pictures. Every single one of them was taken in this apartment.

One night out. That’s all it was.

Natalie was right. My mother would never find out.

Shit.

“Fine,” I said before I even registered the words. “You want to go out? Let’s go. Theia doesn’t have to know everything, right?”

Natalie squealed as her face morphed from shock to excitement. She immediately began rummaging through my closet.

“I don’t think you’ll find much in there,” I reminded her. “I don’t have a need for party clothes, remember?”

She gave me a sympathetic smile and turned to dig through her own purse. “Here,” she said, tossing me a tiny black dress. “Put this on.”

I stared at her, my mouth falling open. “Are you kidding? You keep spare dresses lying around in your purse?”

“I came prepared! Besides, you never know when you need a backup. Now, grab some heels and let’s get to work!”

I rolled my eyes. The dresswastiny, but something inside of me flickered with excitement at the thought.

When was the last time I relaxed and let myself be a young college student? When was the last time I wore something provocative? Although Natalie would argue that the dress wouldn’t even fit into that category.

Never,I thought. I hadneverallowed myself to do any of those things.

“I’ll wear this, but I’m wearing my tall boots and a jacket. You can’t take my warmth away from me.”

She snorted. “Deal!”

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