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My heart pounded in my chest. Of all the things I was expecting him to say, that wasn’t one of them. “What happened at the lake wasn’t your fault,” I argued. Why did I feel the need to defend him? He was right!
Alek shook his head. “Demons are dangerous, Lyra. You shouldn’t be around us any more than you have to be.”
“But what about our deal? What’s the point if you can’t even bring me around?”
He turned and began pacing, running his hands through his messy hair. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know.”
The stress in his voice made me pause. Maybe he really was torn up about this. But why was he so concerned? This was all still just part of a deal to him…
Right?
“Fine,” I said after a while. “If that’s what you think is best.”
He tilted his head to the ceiling and smiled, as if thinking about how ridiculous this entire situation was.
That’s what I was thinking, at least.
“I never expected for you to be so… involved.”
“Involved?” He nodded a response. “You mean this?” I pulled my shirt to the side, exposing his teeth marks that were now scarring over my pale skin. “You never expected for me to be this involved?”
Anger crept its way into my words, lacing the edges of my voice. I couldn’t stop it. He dragged me through all of this, showed me how exciting his life could be, and then decided it’s too much?
Alek’s eyes darkened as he turned to look at my exposed skin, at the marks he had left there.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he sighed. “It’s too dangerous for you.”
“I think we’re past that,” I replied.
I watched his throat bob as he swallowed. “Look at me, Lyra,” he said, spreading his arms out on either side of him. My eyes obeyed, tracking down to his exposed torso and the gauze that covered his skin. “This is what you're getting into. This is what I’ve dragged you into.”
“I didn’t ask to be dragged in,” I replied.
“Then you should be happy about this. You should be happy that I’m leaving you alone.”
I clenched my fists, digging my fingernails into the delicate skin on my palms. “Are you kidding?” I hissed. “You want me to be happy?” Alek said nothing. “You swore to me this would be worth it for me, Alek. You told me you could show me how tolive. You showed me all of this that I’ve been missing!”
He smiled, but it was a sad smile. One that made my chest ache. “Well, maybe your mother knows best, after all.” His voice cracked.
His words were a slap in the face. “Don’t you dare say that.”
Alek’s shrug pissed me off even more. “You’re safe in here, Lyra.”
“Safe, maybe. But I’m as good as dead.”
“Thisis as good as dead,” he replied, pointing to his stabbing wound. “Thisis what happens out there, Lyra! You get hurt. You get betrayed. It’s not all fun and games!”
“I don’t want fun and games,” I argued. “I want to live. I want to… I want to…”
“What?” he pushed. “What do you want?”
I dropped my hands in surrender. “For the first time in twenty-two years, I actually felt something with you. Danger, anger, whatever. At least it was something.”
His brows furrowed together, but only for a second. He quickly recovered. “I can’t be responsible for you getting hurt,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
I stepped forward, finally closing the distance between us. “You still don’t see it, do you?” I whispered. Tears formed in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away.
He needed to hear me. He needed to understand.
