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“See you later,” I told her as I waved, “Everything is in the bag, including frozen milk and fresh milk.
“Bye!” She screamed, forcing me out of her office.
I shook my head as I made my way down the hall and out of the door. When I finally made it to my truck, I climbed inside and sat in silence. Before starting the engine, I took a second to acknowledge the progress I’d made this morning. Luca offered to take everyone to school, but I was adamant. I knew I could make it happen and I did.
The smile that stretched across my face hurt so damn good. I felt the stinging of my eyes and tried to will myself not to cry. However, this was major for me. It meant the world. All I’d ever wanted to do was be the best mother I could be and getting back to that person – no matter how slowly – was at the top of my priority list.
I did it. I did it. He’ll be so proud, I thought of my dear husband.
Speaking of him. My phone started ringing. I looked down in my lap at the screen to confirm it was Luca. It was. It always was.
“Hi,” I answered.
“Hi. Everything going smooth?” He questioned.
“Yes. Everyone is at school.”
“That’s what’s up, Ever. I’m proud of you, baby.”
“I told you I had it.”
“You did and I never doubted that you did, love.”
“Thank you… thank you for never doubting me or giving up on me.”
“I love you too much for all that and you know it.”
“I know.”
“You got places to be, though, so I’m going to let you go.”
“See you in two hours for lunch?”
“See you in two hours for lunch,” he confirmed.
I started the engine and headed for my next destination. I made it in under twenty minutes. The humongous building was something straight out of a magazine – intimidating almost. However, I found the office I was meant to be in, in only a few minutes. And, when I was face to face with the woman that was highly recommended to whip my mind back into shape, relief washed over me. Even her presence was like the calm to the storm brewing inside of me. Therapy had already started and I hadn’t even introduced myself.
“Good morning, I’mKirklynn Benedict. Right this way,” she greeted.
FOURTEEN
If I was taskedwith describing how much better I felt, I wouldn’t be able to. The solo nail appointment was everything my heart and soul needed after the emotional day I’d experienced. The first day at Kirklynn’s office left me drained, completely.
After a long and late lunch with Luca, I went home alone to digest everything we’d touched on in the session. Though my eyes were tired of crying and I felt like I had no more tears left, more appeared. But, for the first time in a long time, the tears I shed made me feel so much better than I had before.
“Goodness, I feel like a new person. I think I recognize myself a little,” I said aloud, talking to absolutely no one.
Naturally, my eyes landed on the large, well-lit sign that was just across the street.Ever Sinclair, it read.That’s me. That’s mine.
With weights on my chest, I took a step closer to the edge of the curb. Then, another. And, it wasn’t until I reached the front door that I stopped. In an instant, I unlocked the door using my code and entered the building.
I looked around the place, standing right in the middle. All of my hard work had been put into the bakery and I missed it more than I could’ve imagined. From the formulation of sweet treats to the feeling of dough rolling underneath my palm, I missed it. Everything.
“God, please give me the strength to get back in here. Help me. I need you now.”
Unable to withstand the emotional load the bakery required of me at the moment, I quickly exited. There was so much on my mind as I made my way to my vehicle. Though the moment was heavy, it was the motivation I needed to keep going until I could get back to myself –just as Luca said.
I didn’t bother selecting music during my ride. My thoughts were running rampant and all I wanted was to feel things, whatever they were. No matter what they were. And, to my surprise, they were much more pleasant than I’d expected.
