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“Sariel—”
“Why didn’t you say something before?” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Why didn’t you tell me what they’d done?”
“I didn’t think it was that serious? I don’t know. It didn’t hit me until just now…”
“Can I hold you? I need to… Are you okay with me touching you? I don’t want to—”
“Please,” I found myself whispering, a small shudder moving through me at the possibility of being wrapped in his arms. “Please—”
“Shit.”
Sariel climbed onto the bed and rolled me into his arms as I began sobbing. “I’m here,” he said, his words muffled by my hair.
My fingers curled into his shirt as ugly, hiccuping sobs shuddered out of me. He rubbed soothing strokes down my spine, allowing me to seek comfort in his warmth, in his scent.
I let go of the tenuous hold I had on my emotions. I cried until I was gasping for air, and Sariel was pulling back to cup my cheeks and coax me into taking deep breaths. Soon after, his thumb was rubbing the side of my throat, and he was pressing kisses into my forehead, reminding me that he was right here and he’d never let anything happen to me.
Something in my gut tightened when I abruptly remembered what I’d heard him thinking while he’d been out of it, and I sobbed harder all over again.
This time, I let him into the bond. I let my feelings flow through him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed when he tensed at the onslaught of things coming from me. When he finally relaxed, I sent him the way I’d felt when I’d heard what he’d been thinking.
“You called me a murderer,” I said, my eyes glued to his chest. “You called me your mate, said I was yours. And then you said ‘murderer.’”
Sariel had turned to stone in my hold. Fear kept me from looking up at him and seeing the guilt I knew was in his expression.
“I know you’re not a murderer, Aria,” he started. “Can you look at me, please? I need you to see that I’m not lying.”
I swallowed before tilting my head up to meet his eyes. Our heads shared the same pillow, and I wasn’t conscious of how close we were until now. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to try to squirm out of his hold.
“I was fucked up about Tyler. I knew my father had something to do with Auren’s death, but I didn’t realize to what degree,” he said, gaze bouncing between my eyes. “I know deep in my soul that you’re no murderer. You might share that man’s blood, but you are nothing like him. You’re…. you’re perfect. What I said while drugged up wasn’t a coherent thought. It wasn’t even really me—it was my angel and I arguing. What youshouldhave heard was probably ‘My mate isnota murderer.’ Because you’re not.
“I’m going to be honest; I freaked out about you being fallen-blood at first, but my angel nipped all of my negative thoughts in the bud quickly. He might be a mean bastard, but he’s the best voice of reason someone like me could ask for. He and I have an understanding that if I ever step out of line with you, he’ll take the reins and shake some sense into me. That’s never going to happen since just seeing you cry is eating away at my goddamn sanity, Aria.
He let out a shuddering breath, his eyes closing.“ You don’t understand what listening to you cry and throw up did to me. I couldn’t reach you, and your wolf wasn’t responding. It was like being at the Isolation Center all over again. I wanted to break the fucking door down and hold you. I wish I could take all this shit away from you. God, if I could kill Azazel and have that solve all of our problems, I would have done it by now.”
I gasped at his confession. “Sariel, he’s your father.”
“And you’ve shown more kindness to me in the time we’ve known each other than he’s shown me all of my life,” he argued softly. “You don’t understand, Aria. You’ve given me purpose.”
My heart swelled in my chest. Looking back on where we’d come from and where we were now, I could only thank the universe that we'd’ gotten over our differences so quickly.
“You gave me purpose, too,” I echoed. “I don’t… I don’t know how I would’ve made it out of half the shit we’ve been through if you weren’t with me, Sariel. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
He smiled wryly. “That’s not true. I think you’re one of the strongest people I know, and you absolutely would’ve survived. I just wish you never had to go through any of it in the first place.”
His eyes dropped to my mouth briefly. I licked my lips on instinct, making his own twitch up into a wider smile.
“Promise me something,” I blurted. “Promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll let me in. You won’t block me out like you did at the Isolation Center.”
“Aria, I was in pain—”
“I want to take some of it away. I want to share your pain,” I said, squeezing him again.
His expression softened, his head bending toward me. “You have to promise me the same, then, pup.”
His use of petname had my toes curling. The distance between our faces was miniscule, now, and when I answered, my lips brushed his. “I promise.”
“And so do I,” he answered.
