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She shook her head. “I worked for the fae,” she explained. “One of my assignments was to spy on Azazel. I was to infiltrate his inner circle and learn what I could about his plans. We’d heard chatter that he was going to attack the Free Kingdom in spite of the agreement made between them. I went in thinking I was prepared, but I wasn’t. He was…”
She trailed off, and I almost gagged at the wistful expression on her face. “He was different than he is now. Charming and sweet. Thoughtful and caring. He was perfect, and I thought… I don’t know. It was ridiculous of me.” She glanced down at her lap. “I thought it was love.”
I blanched. God, I didn’t want to hear this sappy shit. “I don’t care about your relationship with Azazel. I want to know why you left your son with a complete stranger.”
She looked up at me. “I didn’t have a choice,” she admitted, sounding agonized. I was a firm believer that everyone had a choice, though. “I already had a mate. Garro. He’s the father of my other children. He was a Guardian, too, and we… we were trying not to make it obvious that we were mates, because of what would be expected of us.”
I stared at her.
“Tarragon and Blossom have always wanted to repopulate the kingdom, Sariel. Even back then,“ she whispered. “But more than that, they wanted stronger beings, the kind that came from the coupling of two powerful species or a fated mate pair. Garro and I were an excellent pair in our prime, and… it was hard. Before I met Garro, I’d paired with another Commander, and he gave me Grel. They took him like they take every child. Then I met Garro, and shortly after that, I was assigned to Azazel. And then you were born. I knew that you would be incredible and unique. I couldn’t risk bringing you here, only to have them raise you to be some kind of weapon, or… or take you for their own, Sariel.”
I had to sit down. “They’ve been looking for a surrogate this long?”
Her jaw clamped shut, and I saw the fear skitter across her eyes.
“How many couples have they forced to give up their babies?” I pressed. “Where are they? Those babies?”
She shook her head jerkily, unable to answer.
I paused. “Did… did they take one of yours and Garro’s?”
Her eyes filled with tears again. “Her name was Sibby,” she breathed out. “I never saw her after my fourth birthday. It almost destroyed us. I don’t know if you’ve met them yet, but Commander Thorn is his brother.”
“The Commander in charge of beginner training?” I asked. She nodded. “What about the vine woman, Lady Magnolia?”
“They’re not-so-distant relatives of the Queen, Sariel. They’re powerful,” She gulped. “Garro and I created… a miracle. Sibby could change any part of her body at will. Even as a baby, she was shifting into mixed species of animals and birds. She looked a little much like me, with rounded ears, bright hazel eyes, freckles, and pretty blonde hair. She looked like an angel.”
Her gaze looked hollow. “One day, Garro and I went to visit her, and she wasn’t there.”
A headache was beginning to form behind my eyes. I clutched my head as I listened.
“They’d taken her. They forced her to shift some of her features so that she looked more fae-like. She couldn’t,” she said. Horror gripped me at her words. “A four-year-old! They’d—”
She broke off with a ragged sob. “We didn’t even get to bury her. Tarragon and Blossom just visited us and asked us to make more. Garro almost killed them for it, and that… that was when I knew I’d made the right decision in leaving you with your father.”
I laughed sardonically. “Seems like they’re not that different from Azazel, after all,” I commented wryly.
I cut her off with a hand when she opened her mouth. “Aria went to visit the children. She said they were fine,” I reassured her. “They’re healthy and getting the best care possible, from toddler to teenager.”
Penelope shook her head. “That’s because they’re preparing for you. There’s not a chance you’ll have sex, and she won’t get pregnant immediately. Blossom’s power wouldn’t allow it.”
I balked. “How do you know?”
Now was not the time to be embarrassed by the woman who gave birth to me mentioning sex, but here I was, trying to tamp down the heat I could feel rising in my cheeks. “How do you know about that?”
I watched as she clammed right up before my eyes. “I can’t,” she stated, standing abruptly. “I’ve already said too much.”
I was too stunned to stop her as she fled from the room. I couldn’t form a coherent enough thought to move from my seat.
I was enraged. Deep down, a young and innocent Sariel was sobbing into his tiny hands, begging for his mom. Even now, when I knew why I’d been abandoned, indignation wouldn’t let me accept it.
She could have protected me better. I could have been a perfectly normal quasi-fallen angel with a perfectly healthy brain and no anger issues. But instead, I had spent my days counting backward or taking measured breaths so that I didn’t commit atrocities every chance I got.
I turned to where Aria laid unconscious on the bed, then frowned.
I hadn’t let Penelope heal her. I was so messed up right now I wasn’t sure I would have let her even if she hadn’t run.
I didn’t know who that woman was. She was my mother, yes, and she’d fed me her sob story, but Aria was my soulmate and, quite frankly, my entire reason for existing. I wasn’t letting a random person near her while she was like this.
