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A domino effect.
It wasn’t for any other reason.
She couldn’t blame alcohol or Sullivan prying.
She had just blurted it all out on her own without prompting.
Sipping wine from a plastic cup—which would give her mother a heart attack if she saw—Edwina tried to think of something to say that would explain her confessional outburst. They were standing in a viewing area by the concessions so they still had an eye on Finn, who seemed to enjoy touching the ice more than skating on it.
He was an adorable kid, very sweet and kind hearted. He seemed to be a happy, well-adjusted human, and that was obviously all thanks to Sullivan, with some help from his family and friends.
“Finn is lucky,” she said, when the silence grew out too long.
Sullivan was leaning against the bank of lockers, feet crossed casually as he watched his son and waited patiently for her to collect herself.
“Why is that?” he asked. “I’ve always thought he’s gotten the short end of the stick.”
She inwardly winced. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive to the fact that he lost his mother. I just meant that he’s lucky to have you as a father. He’s lucky to be growing up here, surrounded by family and friends you’ve had for a lifetime.”
“Ah. Well, then I definitely agree with you on the latter part of that. I wouldn’t want to raise him anywhere else. I’ve had a lot of help here.” He pushed himself off the wall. “Ed, it’s none of my business, but are you happy in New York?”
He sounded so sincere, so concerned that she took another quick sip of wine, shuddering a little. It was not great tasting wine.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m happy with certain aspects of my life, but others can be exhausting and frustrating. It’s hard to work seven days a week. I’m tired.” She also would be happier if she could orgasm but she’d settle for a good night’s sleep, which generally eluded her.
Settle.
The word made her inwardly wince.
“Living to work would wear out anyone.”
She nodded. “Aren’t you going to say anything about my meltdown? I guess I know it’s not ideal for a couple to only be having sex once a month or I wouldn’t have brought it up.”
He shook his head. “That’s definitely none of my business. Besides, it’s not my place to say what’s normal or not in someone else’s relationship. I’m sure it’s different for all couples. Everyone has a normal that makes sense for them.”
That made her groan. “God, you might as well have just said that your grandma gets laid more often than I do.”
Sullivan laughed. “Well, my dad certainly does.”
She smacked his arm. “You’re right. Which means so is Lilly.”
“Maybe you should have a conversation with him about it instead of just letting your boyfriend jerk off in the shower.”
Her cheeks burned. “I really said that out loud, didn’t I?”
He nodded, struggling not to grin. “You did.”
“I’m really embarrassed. At the same time I guess I just want reassurance that it’s okay to have times in a relationship where sex isn’t the top priority.” She looked at him over the rim of her cup. “You’re not going to reassure me, are you?”
Sullivan ran his hands through his hair. “I’ve only been in one real relationship and that was never an issue with us. So, I don’t have a lot of experience with sexual dry spells. Don’t you have any girlfriends you can talk to about this? I’m sure there is at least one going through the same thing.”
“All my friends know Nigel and it sounds like trash talk. That’s not fair to him.”
He nodded in understanding. “Ed, you want reassurance because you know it’s an issue. Just talk to Nigel. If he’s frustrated that you can’t orgasm, it’s probably because it makes him feel bad he can’t do that for you. Every man wants to know he can make his woman scream. That’s just a fact.”
She lowered her cup. It was mostly empty but she couldn’t take one more sip of the overly sweet wine. That wasn’t what she needed. She needed to scream her way through an orgasm, that’s what she needed. It had been months since she’d come. Maybe Valentine’s Day when they’d brought out the big guns, her vibrator.
Unlike Nigel, she was never really comfortable getting herself off. Not when she was in a relationship. Single, sure. But with Nigel, it made her feel like she was… settling.
