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Now he was absolutely one hundred percent sure he wanted to be with her.
Eddie was wearing aviator style sunglasses and a backward trucker hat. She had on a bikini top and denim shorts and somehow it gave off both a small town and New York vibe all rolled up in one sexy package. She looked like everything he ever wanted riding shotgun beside him for the rest of forever.
“I envy people who are so sure of their relationships,” she said.
That desire was probably more revealing than she intended it to be. Between that and their conversation at the ice rink, it was clear she had doubts about her relationship with Nigel.
Was it a dick move to hope she dumped Nigel’s ass?
No. A dick move was moving in on her while she was still with him. But hoping she came to her senses and walked away from an unsatisfying—literally—relationship was being a good friend. A friend with ulterior motives, but still a friend.
“I had that conviction once.” There had never been a moment of doubt for him with Kendra.
“I’m sorry, Sullivan. Of course you were certain with Kendra. You were together a long time. I guess I meant more when people are sure right from the beginning.”
“But… do people really take years to fall in love?” He was staring at the road, driving to the house he’d grown up in to pick up his son, and he was asking the question seriously. Did other people honestly take five years, ten years, to know that they really loved someone?
He might have pushed back with Jesse about falling in love in a matter of days, but that actually made more sense to him than being on the fence for a decade.
“What?” she asked, sounding startled. “I mean, sure. As you get to know someone, layers are peeled back. You find out if you’re compatible, if you share similar goals, hopes and dreams, a mutual trajectory.”
“A mutual trajectory?” he asked in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“What? What’s wrong with that?”
“You sound like you’re in a business meeting. Do you also agree to circle back around to your emotions next week?”
He wasn’t trying to be an asshole.
But mutual trajectory sounded like a growth chart, not a romance. Not love.
“Not everyone can afford to jump off a cliff with someone. Some people need to be practical.” Her voice was tight.
Even if that practical person wasn’t having orgasms, apparently.
Why exactly did Eddie need to be practical? Who had told her that? Was it just her fear of ending up like her parents? He didn’t know. He did know now wasn’t the time to push the issue.
“You’re right,” he said, because he wanted to enjoy the day. He didn’t want to add to her stress or have her salty with him. He just wanted to swim in the lake with a woman he could fall in love with before theirtrajectoriestook them in totally different directions. “The phrasing just caught me off guard.”
She didn’t say anything.
Damn it. Here he was supposed to be distracting her from her worries and instead he was pissing her off.
He kept his mouth shut so he didn’t further cram his foot in it.
After a minute gazing out of the window, she asked quietly, “How did you know? With Kendra? How were you sure?”
His throat tightened. “I don’t know. I just was. It didn’t happen gradually either. It was like right from the beginning I was dating her with the intention of building a future with her. Maybe that was the confidence of youth.”
“Mutual trajectories,” she said, with a half-smile. “It’s not as dumb as it sounds.”
“I never said it was dumb. I said it sounded like a business arrangement.” Sullivan pulled into Rick and Sloane’s driveway and hit the brakes. He put the truck in park and turned to her. “I would never call anything you said dumb. I think you’re amazing, Ed.” He put his hand over hers and squeezed a little. “Just so you know.”
He wanted to say more. He wanted to say everything.
He wanted to tell her mutual trajectories were bullshit. That what mattered was in your gut. In yourheart.
But Finn came running out of the house, Sloane behind him with Licorice on a lease.
