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How could she have asked Sullivan to kiss her? That was so out of line. So wrong.
She rubbed her temples and massaged her scalp as she dragged herself out of bed, grateful she had an evening flight, not a morning one.
This trip had given her a whole hell of a lot to think about.
Her life in New York was fast-paced and future driven. She had an amazing career and company. She’d worked hard to become adult Edwina. Comfortable in her skin and focused on her brand message.
And yet… she also missed little Eddie, the girl who felt alive on the ice. Who grinned in photos without restraint.
In New York, she’d become who her mother wanted her to be. Was it really whoshewanted to be?
That was a complicated question and she wasn’t sure she knew the full answer. Parts of her life suited her well and she was happy. Other aspects weren’t perfect. But wasn’t that how life worked?
She practically crawled her way to the kitchen, finishing off the glass of water she’d left on the countertop the night before. She was leaning on her forearms, squinting at the coffeemaker, when Sullivan entered the apartment. It made her heart race with anxiety. Was he going to say something about her confession?
“Morning.”
“Hi.” She glanced back at him and winced when her head protested. “Where’s Finn?”
“He’s with your dad. They’re putting the dogs through their morning calisthenics. Which means Mitch is sleeping in a sun spot on the grass and Licorice is crawling all over him, trying to get him to play. She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.”
Was that a dig at her? Or was she just paranoid? She bit her lip. “I’m sorry about last night, Sullivan. I shouldn’t have… I was just… that wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry.”
She’d been fishing, asking him for something. Anything. A reason to throw the towel in on her relationship with Nigel.
Sullivan was wearing his clothes from the day before, but he looked like he’d either taken a shower or gone for a morning swim. His hair was damp. He was ridiculously good looking. He was also frowning.
“You didn’t do anything but tell the truth. It’s fine. How’s your head?”
“It hurts.” She wanted to stand up straight, but wasn’t sure she could manage it. “A lot.”
“You drank margaritas like they were going out of style, so I’m not surprised. It’s too bad you’re leaving so soon though. You’re going to miss the Fish festival.”
“Oh, God, the Fish festival.” That brought up memories of fair food and carnival rides. She’d won a goldfish one year and her mother had freaked out over it. “I think I’m okay with missing that.”
“You clearly don’t remember the Fish Festival then. It’s the most fun you’ll ever have.”
That made her laugh. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “Yes.” He stepped forward.
For a second, her heart leapt into her throat. She thought he was going to kiss her. But he just reached around her and started the coffee for her.
“Did you take some ibuprofen?” he asked. “I can go get it if it’s in the bathroom.”
His simple care and concern tied her up in knots.
“Sullivan, I’m scared I’m making a mistake,” she blurted out. “What if I’m wrong? I don’t want to end up like my parents, divorced and not speaking to each other. What if by playing it safe, by going slow and being reasonable and choosing the relationship that looks good on paper, I make a mistake anyway?”
Sullivan froze,hand still outstretched.
She wasn’t going to make this easy for him.
Or maybe it was an opportunity to say what he really wanted to say.
“I don’t know that I’m the right person to be discussing this with.” He was not a neutral party. He wasn’t unbiased. He had skin in the game and the temptation to tell her to break up with the man who couldn’t ring her bell was really damn strong.
She was still leaning on the countertop. Her head fell forward, her hair sliding forward and covering her eyes. “Why? Have you made mistakes?”
