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I’m still married.
I was married when I fucked Jack, and I was married when I fucked Keelin.
No one has brought up this fact, but it sits heavy on my chest until I finally cave.
Slumping against the brick wall of the club, I begin to cry.
“I wasn’t judging,” Wade says looking at me with concern, and then gathers me into a hug.
“I was,” Adam says.
“Shut up,” Wade tells him, still holding onto me.
I shudder against Wade as he rubs circles on my back. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I manage to get out between breaths. My hand reaches for the thin gold chain around my neck.
“Keelin’s not that bad,” Wade offers.
“That’s not what I meant.” I meet his eyes and an understanding crosses over his soft brown hues as he watches me finger the gold band.
“I’m not a good person.” I lay my head on his shoulder.
“There is no good or bad. The world is grey, Mia,” he tries to reassure me.
“Not everyone is colorblind,” I tell him, trying to hold onto something that very well may have already slipped through my fingers. I shouldn’t, but I let my mind go to a dark place and wonder what Cash has been doing all this time. Has he fucked some random girl to try and make himself feel better? Or darker yet, has he fallen in love with someone else?
“My shoes are scuffed and I feel like I might have a black eye, but somehow, this is all about Mia?” Adam pipes up.
Both Wade and I glare at him.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Berkeley
I WALK INTO the condo with my hand over my eyes, just in case, but instead of Adam’s naked ass, I hear arguing coming from the bedroom. This is new.
“When were you going to tell me?” I hear Adam raise his voice.
“When I had more information,” Wade counters.
“You didn’t even tell me you were applying!” Adam sounds annoyed.
I wonder what he’s talking about and what Wade applied for. Since I’ve been staying here, I have never heard them argue, not even about me.
I thought I would have things figured out by now, but I haven’t. By the sound of their argument, it’s something I need to prioritize.
“I applied to a few schools in California just to see if I would get in,” Wade explains while he follows Adam out of the bedroom and they come into view.
I stand frozen in the middle of the living room, maybe hoping I would blend into the decor. I’m sure they didn’t want to argue in front of me, but it’s too late to leave now.
“Once I heard back, then I was going to tell you so we could figure out where we go from here,” Wade says.
“Where we go from here?” Adam looks shocked.
“Look, I don’t even know if I’m going to accept.” Wade tries to grab onto Adam’s arm, but he pulls away.
“What do you mean, ‘if’?” Adam asks, looking at him incredulously.
“I haven’t had time to think about it.” Wade walks away from him and they both finally notice me, stopping dead in their tracks. So much for me blending in with the decor.
