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I drop the box and run after him. “Cash!” I yell and then realize the back of the truck is open and all of Wade’s stuff is in there. I hesitate, stuck between wanting to run after Cash and protecting Wade’s possessions.
“Shit!” I run back to the truck and slide the door closed as fast as I can, but when I run back down the street, he’s gone. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, breathing heavy, hunched over with my hands on my thighs about to cry. I can’t believe he was right there in front of me, and now he’s gone. I have waited too long to be this close to Cash, and I let him get away.
I full out run down the block hoping I’ll see where he turned when I get to the end of the block. I look both ways but he’s disappeared, and I don’t know which way to run. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath and stop myself from crying at the same time. I touch the necklace under my shirt. If it was meant to be, I tell myself. I take a chance and turn east towards some shops that are near a parking garage, when out of sheer chance, I catch a glimpse of him exiting a store.
I run the half a block it takes to catch up with him, and when I do, I’m a disheveled mess.
“Cash?” I call to him, my voice sounding as desperate as I feel.
He turns around and looks at me with a hardened expression meant to stop me from coming closer, but I do. I realize I haven’t thought this far ahead about what I would say once I caught up to him; I just knew I needed to see him. Maybe I thought if I saw him, I would get some closure.
“What part of this was an invitation for you to follow me?” He gestures between us.
“You won’t talk to me and you won’t see me. What was I supposed to do?” I take a deep breath to stop my heart from pounding.
“There’s a reason for that, Mia.” His face is etched with pain, each crack caused by me.
“Please, don’t shut me out.” Even if he doesn’t love me anymore or want anything to do with me, I need him to stop hating me.
“You don’t get to make demands of me.” His chest heaves under the black v neck t-shirt he wears.
“I just want to talk to you.” I move closer to him and his body tightens in response. There was a time when his body responded differently to me.
“What do you want from me, Mia? You want me to say that everything is alright? Because it isn’t. No part of this,” he motions between us, “is okay.”
“I’m sorry.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say. I don’t want him to leave, not when we haven’t resolved anything.
“Sorry for what, Mia?”
“Cash, don’t,” I plead.
“What, Mia?” He narrows his eyes at me as I shake my head. “What are you really sorry for?” He draws out each word, and I know exactly what he wants me to say. My throat closes up in response.
“Stop it, Cash.” I never thought I would ever see cruelty in his eyes, but pain has a way of bringing out the worst in people.
“You can’t even say it.” He points at me while raising his voice, and suddenly I am aware of people staring at us as they pass by. “You can’t even look at me and say it.”
“Don’t do this.” The words come out as a whisper. The street and people blur as my eyes fill with tears.
“Tell me you’re sorry for fucking him!” Cash steps closer to me, an imposing figure partially blocking my view of the audience we’re attracting.
“Cash.” I would tell him that I’m sorry until I’m blue in the face, but I know it wouldn’t matter to him. His only goal right now is to humiliate me and he’s succeeding.
“Don’t you fucking dare cry right now,” he sneers and turns away from me.
“You’re being cruel,” I spit out, bringing my hands to my face.
“I’m cruel?” He laughs maniacally. “The two of you broke my fucking heart.”
It’s not just the fact that I broke his heart, but Jack did too, and it is my undoing.
“Just let me explain,” I beg.
“You can’t explain away any of this.” He throws his hands up. “My life has been blown up, and you’re the bomb.”
I blanch, my eyes opening wide. I knew he was angry, but somehow I thought time would dull that.
Now I know.
