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I pad over to the door again and peer through the security hole to see Cash standing in my hallway yet again. His hair is even more tousled, and when I see him turn around to head back down the hall, I quickly open the door.
The creek of the metal stops him in his tracks and he strokes the back of his neck, dipping his head nervously. His black engineer boots are rooted to the concrete floor as we stare at each other. Even though no words are spoken, the enormity of our conversation is palpable as he holds me captive with his eyes.
I see the war raging inside of him, and if I didn’t want him so much, I would tell him to turn around and run. But I can’t, because I’m selfish. The small space between us is heavy with the weight of our pasts.
His decision is made like a gavel hitting the block the moment he steps forward and crashes into me. Sparks fly and the air swirls around me, making me dizzy with the feeling of his body on mine. I am tangled up in him like a ball of string and I’m slowly unraveling. The door shuts behind us with a kick. I have missed this feeling of being consumed by someone, the need so great you might die without it. I tear at his shirt as he pulls down my shorts, our clothes left on the floor like breadcrumbs leading to our demise. I fall onto the edge of my bed and everything slows down. My heart races, the blood pumping in my veins, and I can still feel his touch on my body even though he’s hovering over me.
I am breathless with anticipation and have stars in my eyes, but I know how this story ends. Cash will be the victim to the recklessness of my chaotic heart, but I can’t make myself push him away. At this moment I should only be thinking of him, but images of Jack’s face cross my mind because I realize something; it’s not Jack who is my weakness, it is this man standing before me.
There is so much on the line and it could easily end badly for both of us, again. He once offered me forever, and I didn’t treat it as the gift it was meant to be.
“I’m only going to break your heart,” I warn him.
He leans over me, his mouth inches from mine. “Smash it, shatter it, do whatever you want.” Somber eyes meet mine as if he knows how this will end, but he’s willing to take the risk. “It’s yours.”
I place a hand to his chest, feeling the slow beat of his heart and the hard muscle is hot under my palm. “We can stop this before it starts,” I offer him one last reprieve, because once we start, I won’t ever be able to stop.
“It’s been in motion for a long time, Mia.” Cash looks at me darkly, his body hovering over mine, pushing me further into the mattress. “Couldn’t stop it now if I tried.”
He lowers himself, my arms bending at the elbows until I wrap them around his neck, pulling him to me. Our lips meet, sending waves of heat to flood my body. Slowly, effortlessly, and dangerously naive, he gives himself to him. The feel of his hand trailing down my body sends tendrils of heat to ebb and flow with the pumping of my blood. Every arch of my back, part of my lips, and thrum of my heart, is a silent plea to never let me go.
His tongue licks across the hollow of my neck and I arch my back, wanting more of him. Pearls of lust sit deep in my belly as he takes my hardened nipple into his mouth, teasing, sucking, and kneading me into a ruined pile of rubble. I grab onto him as if I am about fall over the edge into a deep chasm, my fingernails digging into his flesh, trying to hold on. I run my fingers through his hair and pull him to my lips again.
Roughly, he slams both my wrists into the mattress above my head, sending an ache so deep into my core it consumes me. Stormy eyes pierce mine, making promises I know he’ll keep. My body sighs the moment he enters me, and I wrap my legs around him prepared to do whatever it takes to keep him with me, if only for a little while. There are no promises made, only a deep, satisfying urge to own and possess each other, a power struggle born of heartbreak and love.
My breaths are shallow bursts of air, low moans fill the space between us, and I barely register they are coming from me. Each thrust is a sweet punishment, claiming me, and I give myself over to him willingly.
He owns me.
I close my eyes, the sensation overtaking me as I moan and writhe beneath him until I plummet over the edge; a willing swan dive to a death so sweet, my body aches for it again.
As I plummet further into the chasm, all I can think of is…
I will ruin him.
That is what I was always meant to do.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
It's Golden
“YOU CAME BACK.” I enter the studio and find Peter sitting on the couch, guitar in hand and an open notebook on the table in front of him.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he replies with a challenge in his brown eyes.
I plop my bag onto the piano bench and take off my jacket as Peter’s cocky eyes roam over me. I feel the need to get things straight with him from the start. The chatter in the tabloids provides misconceptions about me, and even though it’s fake news designed to shock, once the information is in print, there’s no going back.
“Let’s get one thing straight.” I lazily rest my hip against the piano and cross my arms over my chest. “Not now, nor will I ever, fuck you.” I raise an eyebrow at him.
Peter laughs and leans back into the couch, draping one arm over the back casually. He looks as though he’s contemplating a smart comeback, but then resolves to play it safe when he says, “Noted.”
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I plop down into the seat opposite him and pull his notebook towards me. “Let’s see what you got.”
Peter leans forward, licking his lips nervously as he watches me. Having someone you’ve just met look at your work is not the easiest thing to do. People in this business can be cruel and untrustworthy.
“It’s rough,” he explains as I look over the lyrics he’s started on. It’s definitely about a person, perhaps someone he’s longing for or wants but he can’t have. It’s hard to decipher.
“Who is this about?” I ask him.
