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“In the flesh,” Wade says with a smile.
“Someone’s been staying in shape,” I tease, squeezing his bicep. Wade has always been in shape. Playing the drums is very physical, but to my knowledge, he hasn’t played in a long time.
Wade raises an eyebrow at me. “There’s a fancy gym at the company I’m interning at.”
“And no coffee rings in the break room at this prestigious company?” I wiggle my eyebrows and laugh.
Wade groans. “There’s always one misfit amongst the bunch.”
I laugh.
People move around us as the store fills up with friends and other shop owners in the area to help us celebrate the grand opening. People walk around looking at the instruments, pulling posters from the bins, and sifting through the albums and CDs.
Wade looks around the store, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and I notice that he’s not his usual cheerful self. “Are you okay?” I ask while pulling him away from the crowd and towards the hall to the storeroom.
“Long-distance relationships are hard,” he admits, clearing his throat.
“Where is Adam? He didn’t come with you?” I realize for the first time that Adam’s not here. I just thought he’d be coming later because we did invite him. Whenever Wade has been in town, the two of them are inseparable.
Wade shakes his head. “It’s just not working out like I planned.”
“What happened?” I ask, feeling like an asshole, because every time we’ve talked it’s been about me, and I’ve failed to notice what’s going on with him.
“I got offered a job at the company I’ve been interning at,” he tells me with a weak smile, and my own smile falters. My heart falls into my chest because I know what this means.
“Well, that’s great news,” I say, trying to be excited but knowing that I can’t hide my sadness. I am happy for him, but the selfish part of me wants to keep him close. “Isn’t it?” He doesn’t look happy though.
“It just means I’m staying in San Francisco,” he explains.
“I don’t want to give up something again for someone else,” he says cautiously, “Even if it’s for someone I love.” I know he’s referring to dropping out of college the first time to join the band with me and Jack. “I worked too hard for this, and I love my job.”
“I understand,” I answer, and my eyes fall to his chest.
“Adam doesn’t.” Wade shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
“Why doesn’t Adam move up there with you?” I already know the answer, but I ask it anyway.
“His clients and all of his contacts are here,” Wade replies and shakes his head as if he’s already had this conversation. Adam has started his own label, and getting that off the ground has taken up every spare minute of his time. I think it was meant to take his mind off Wade, but it slowly turned into something more.
“But you’re not.” I give him a wan smile.
“I thought I would graduate, get a job and then transfer down here, but the tech industry is exploding in San Francisco. This start-up company I’m working for is amazing, and the project I’m working on is something I’ve always wanted to do. I can make a real contribution, ya know?” He sounds excited, but it’s as if he is trying to convince himself and not me.
“Sometimes you can’t have everything,” I say wistfully. “There’s always a sacrifice.” I wish it wasn’t that way.
Wade sighs, signaling the conversation over.
“Since when did you start wearing suits?” I change the heavy subject and check out his expensive attire.
“I look good in a suit, don’t you think?” He poses for me and I laugh, but he is right. I remember Wade as a scrawny teenager with ripped jeans, Vans, and a flannel, his hair longer. Now, he’s a man wearing a suit which emphasizes his broad shoulders, and his dark hair is slicked back neatly.
It’s funny how time changes and molds you into something you never saw coming. I feel it every time I look in the mirror. I wonder what happened to the girl with the braid in her hair.
“You look good, Wade.” I place a hand on his cheek trying my hardest to make him feel better.
“I think things will work out for the best,” I say. “Sometimes you have to let go of something, and if it comes back to you, it was meant to be.” I know it’s not what he wants to hear, but I really do believe that’s true. Sometimes we try so hard to hold onto something that we end up suffocating it. If Adam and Wade are truly meant to be together, they will find each other again.
Wade just nods.
