AllFreeNovel
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“Come on, Ben, maybe we can hit up a few bars on the way to our cars. You can be my wingman,” Georgie grabs onto his arm as my dad harrumphs while they exit into the still chaotic hallway.
Dumping a few napkins in the trash bin, I look around.
“These boxes aren’t going to fit in your trash,” I say, realizing the trash can is way too small.
“There’s a dumpster downstairs,” Michelle directs.
“I’ll help you,” Noelle offers and grabs the rest of the pizza boxes.
The elevator ride to the lobby is quiet, and I already dread leaving. It’s not like she’s far away, but the thought of not waking up to the sound of her violin or the patter of her feet on the floor fills me with an emptiness I always knew would come but refused to prepare for.
Noelle tosses the boxes into the dumpster after I hand her mine. The lid shuts with a loud clunk that echoes off the building walls. The air is thick and tumultuous, as is the street filled with cars and college students exploring their new surroundings.
It’s too hot to sit outside, so we take a seat on the lobby couch adjacent to the mailboxes.
“Your roommates seem nice, even that Stevie. She came around when the pizza got delivered,” I chuckle.
Noelle laughs, playing with the frayed end of her shorts and knocking her high-top vans together.
“I should be excited,” she says, continuing to look down at her dust covered shoes.
She rests her head against my shoulder. “You’ll be excited tomorrow when you wake up in your dorm room for the first time and realize you’re all grown up.”
I can feel all her fears, trepidations, excitement, and guilt. It comes off her in waves with just that simple touch of her head to my shoulder.
“I’ve been selfish,” she says, and before I can interject, she stops me. “I’ve had you all to myself these past eighteen years.” Her voice breaks. “I never stopped to think that maybe you needed more than just me, because allIneeded was you.”
“Noelle, I already told you…”
“I know what you told me, that it was your choice not to bring someone else into our lives, but I think you were just using me as an excuse, because in reality, you were scared.”
I open my mouth to protest.
“I don’t blame you for being scared because of what you went through with Steven.” She turns to face me, determination in her blue eyes. “I’ve always looked up to you because you’re such a strong woman, someone I hope to be someday, but right now, I just feel sorry for you,” she says.
I open my mouth in shock. “Noelle?”
“I feel sorry for you because you’re letting your fears cloud your judgment,” Noelle says with conviction. “Adrian made you happy. I saw it; something I didn’t know was missing in you because I never saw it before. But once I did, it gave me a whole new perspective because it’s the first time I saw you as a person and not just my mom.”
“Noelle, I… I don’t know what to say.” I grab onto her hand because I have this overwhelming need to touch her, to help her understand she is the only person I will ever need.
“Say that you’ll go to him,” Noelle says. “You’ve been miserable these past months.”
I shake my head. “You don’t understand.”
“I might be young and naïve about certain things, but I know you, and I know that he made you happy.” Noelle squeezes my hand as she pleads. “Don’t worry about me or our relationship, because I’m old enough to know that nothing will change what you and I have. I just have to learn to be mature enough to share you,” she says, her eyes glistening with tears, and my own are ready to spill over.
“Go to him,” she says, looking at me with the same intense blue eyes as my own. “I’m okay. You did your job.”
Feeling the tears threatening to spill over, I pull her into a hug.
“It’s too late,” I whisper.
I’ve never stopped thinking about him, and even once drove past theTap Roomto see if I could hear him play, but the rushing traffic drowned out the opportunity. I’ve managed to avoid him at family gatherings which is something I know Laura hates. Either Adrian would conveniently be too busy to come to a birthday party or I’d be out of town for a holiday. No one talked about him, and I didn’t ask.
“It’s never too late, and you won’t know unless you try,” Noelle says.
Taking a big breath I pull away, still holding onto her, one hand smoothing down her hair and the other wiping away the tears staining her cheeks.
