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I get back to work, but now the fantasy is firmly in my head: We wake up in our very own home on Christmas morning, the house all decorated and a large tree in the family room. Lake makes us coffee while I make French toast for us for breakfast, slapping Luke’s hand away as he keeps trying to steal the strawberries I cut for on top. Lake’s round with a child, ours or Zoe’s, I’m not sure, but he’s still rubbing his belly fondly as he hands me a mug of coffee.
Then later on, the whole family comes over to have Christmas dinner and exchange gifts. Everyone is laughing and smiling, completely content as I pull out trays and trays of food, Miri crawling around the living room, trying to open all the presents. It’s a good vision I hope happens one day.
Both Logan and Lake had to work this morning so they’ll probably show up just in time for Thanksgiving dinner. Essie came home from college last night, but apparently went out, so she’s still sleeping. River and Cooper said they’d come earlier to help, but Cooper’s sister Casey is on leave from Germany, so Luke insisted they spend time with her this morning. River and Lake have been concerned lately that their dad is lonely, so I volunteered to come early to help prep, and honestly, it’s been a blast.
We spend the morning in easy companionship, and I learn that we work really well in the kitchen together. I also hear more stories about Lake growing up, and I tell him more about me. Luke even asks about my tattoos, but I don’t feel like he’s judging me, just genuinely curious. So, I gladly talk about them.
Finally, everything is prepped, the turkey has been cooking for hours, and we’re ready to go for a while. It’s right when the two of us have everything cleaned up from prep that Essie walks casually into the kitchen.
She looks around at the trays of food. “Oh, you guys are done already? I would’ve helped.”
Luke and I look at each other and roll our eyes. Like I didn’t use the same tactic when I was her age. Luke kisses his daughter on the cheek. “It’s ok, honey, we got it covered. You’ll need to put a new pot of coffee on, though. I think Ev drank it all.”
It’s funny how the rest of Lake’s family embraced calling me Ev, when Lake only calls me Evander. Typically, I correct anyone who insists on calling me by my full name, but I like when Lake says it. He makes it sound sexy and sophisticated.
“Luke, do you mind if I use your bathroom to freshen up before everyone gets here?” I brought a change of clothes so I don’t smell like onions and stuffing all day.
“Sure. If you wanna shower, there’s towels under the sink in the guest bathroom.”
“Thank you.”
The guest bathroom is the kind that has a door out to the hallway but another two inside that go directly to bedrooms. Both doors are ajar when I enter. One is clearly Essie’s room, so I close and lock that so she doesn’t accidentally walk in on me. I peek into the other room, and I immediately wonder if I’m looking at River and Lake’s bedroom when they were teenagers. There’s two twin-sized beds in the room. One is a loft-style bunk bed, the kind with the bed on top, but underneath is a desk set up rather than another bed. The desk looks empty besides a small lamp. On the other side of the room is another twin-sized bed. Both beds have matching navy-blue plaid comforters on top of them. Another empty desk is pushed up against the foot of the bed. At first glance, it looks like most of the things that made the room theirs have been taken down over the years, but for some reason, I just know that’s Lake’s bedroom.
I don’t really have time to explore right now, so I leave that door partially ajar and take a shower. I figure no one would be entering that room today anyway.
I feel much better once I dress in my dark jeans that make my ass look amazing and a navy-blue sweater. The look is a little preppier than I typically go for, but it works for a holiday at my boyfriend’s dad’s house.
While we’ve had discussions about being exclusive, none of us have said the mate word or that we love each other yet. I have no idea what any of us are waiting for, but any time I start to say it, I hesitate. No matter how I feel, it just seems too soon. And the mate thing? Even as scientists keep bringing out more evidence that it’s real, it seems so far-fetched to me, I have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. I know Lake believes, which is understandable after witnessing what happened to his brother, but he hasn’t forced the issue yet.
Instead of going out the main door and into the hallway, I cut through Lake’s old bedroom. Ok, sue me, I’m fucking nosy. I nearly jump out of my skin when I see Lake sitting on the single bed, playing around on his phone.
“Fucking A, Lake, you just scared the shit out of me!”
Lake smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just waiting till you got out of the shower.”
I walk over to him and tip his chin up to kiss him hello. Instead of sitting next to him, I straddle Lake’s legs and sit on his lap. A few weeks ago, Lake would completely stiffen up and get awkward if I did something like that. Now, he just laughs and wraps his arms around me, burying his head into my chest.
I hug him back. “Is everything ok, sweetheart?”
He glances up at me with sleepy eyes. “Yeah, it was just a rough morning at work. But, at least I’m not late.”
I push on Lake’s shoulders, not hard enough to actually move him, but he willingly goes down so his back is on the bed. I climb up so I’m lying next to him and begin to play with his hair. “Do you want to bet on how late Logan’s going to be?”
Lake snorts. “On Thanksgiving? I’m sure all the nuts are out. I’ll be impressed if he gets here before dessert.”
“Maybe we’ll be nice and save him some.” Lake smiles softly at me, both of us knowing full well that we’ll be coming home loaded with tupperware, even if Logan does make it on time.
I’m not exactly sure how long Lake and I lie here, but at some point, he takes my hand and rests his head against my chest. I absolutely love when he takes initiative with affection, since I know it’s not the easiest for him. I play with his hair with my free hand, and we just lie here enjoying each other’s company.
Eventually we hear the doorbell ring and reluctantly separate from each other. The guests are starting to come.
* * *
“Thank you for having me, Luke,” Dad says as he leans back on the recliner, patting his belly. “Everything was delicious.”
We’re taking a break between dinner and dessert, and everyone made their way into the family room to watch the football games. Well, Luke, Dad, and Cooper are. River and Essie are on the floor playing with Miri, who’s rolling around on a giant play mat. Lake and I are cuddled together on the chaise lounge part of the massive sectional. Lake is lying halfway on me, and I have one hand cradling his belly while I lazily scroll through my phone with my other hand.
It’s weird, but ever since Lake got the confirmation he’s pregnant, I can’t get enough of holding his stomach. It’s not like I can feel anything yet, and he’s not showing, of course. Hell, he doesn’t even have symptoms yet, but it’s this protective instinct to look after the child growing inside the man I care deeply about, even if it’s not his or mine. Not that it matters, but I’d already gladly give my life for this baby, regardless of their biological parents.
