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‘We’ve both been through a lot. And our past is always going to be there. You were taking care of me the only way you knew how. I shouldn’t have said what I said.’
He remained silent for a full minute. Then he turned. ‘You want to know about my past? About Sofia?’
Heart in her throat, she nodded.
‘My father fought for years to stay out of jail. He used lawyers and manipulated the system to try to escape justice. But the authorities were equally determined. The economy was in the toilet and he’d been lining his pockets with ill-gotten gains. They were slavering to make an example of him. Just when I thought it was ending, some other charge would be added to the list and the circus would begin all over again. The only people who mattered were my brothers and my mother. But even I couldn’t protect them from the cruelty of the media and their so-called friends. Watching them suffer made me hate my father even more. Then he was convicted. Finally, I thought I could get some closure for my family. Before we could take a breath, he was gone.’
Perla frowned. ‘What do you mean, gone?’
‘He died in jail months into his thirty-year sentence.’
‘How?’
‘He caught pneumonia and refused treatment.’ He gave a sharp laugh. ‘After the chaos he’d caused, he went out with barely a whimper.’
‘And you felt cheated?’
‘I felt more than cheated. I wanted to hunt him down in the afterlife and strangle him all over again. I went on a month-long bender. I was on a very fast downward spiral when I met Sofia.’ His eyelids descended, veiling his expression. But she saw his hands form fists. ‘She...saved me.’
Perla’s breath stopped. ‘Oh...’
When he looked up again, his eyes were the darkest green, shadowed with pain. ‘She brought me back from the brink of rage and despair. And I rewarded her by ignoring all the danger signs.’
‘Surely, she must have known the risks of getting pregnant if she had a weak heart?’
‘She knew. But she was convinced she would survive it. She was an eternal optimist.’
‘Ari, you can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened to Sofia. You got her the medical care she needed and she made a choice. The outcome was unfortunate but—’
‘I could’ve insisted. I could’ve—’
‘Ordered her about, just like you’re trying to do to me?’
Colour slashed his cheeks and he looked away. ‘You can’t control everything, Ari. Sometimes you have to let go and let things play out.’
‘Is that what you’re suggesting I do with you? Let you run around until something unforgivable happens?’
‘You’re assuming that you’re the only one who cares for the welfare of this baby. But I want this baby more than anything else.’ It wasn’t strictly true. There was one thing she wanted equally as badly. ‘But in order to give this baby what it needs, we need to put the past behind us and move on or it’ll keep tripping us up, dictating our lives.’
‘Move on. Just like that?’ he asked through gritted teeth.
‘No, not just like that. It’s hard, I know, but I’m willing to give it a try.’
‘You’re willing to try when you’re pregnant with my child but can’t even move on from wearing funeral black every day?’
Shocked, she stared down at her clothes. The idea that her all-black wardrobe was sending a particular message hadn’t even crossed her mind.
‘Moving on isn’t as easy as you think, is it, Perla?’ he queried in a soft voice lined with steel. ‘Come and talk to me about moving on when you change the colour of your wardrobe.’
‘I’m talking to you now. And I didn’t choose this wardrobe. You gave me a little more than a day to join you in Miami when I started this job. The stylist knew my history and she assumed I’d want to be decked out in black all the time because I was a widow, and frankly I didn’t think it mattered in the grand scheme of things.’
His jaw tightened. ‘It mattered.’
‘They’re just clothes, Ari. The fact of the matter is I want love. I wanted it when I married Morgan and I want it now.’
His gaze lasered on her. ‘Why did you stay married to him after you found out he was gay?’
Ice welled through her veins. ‘He told me on our wedding night that he’d married me because he didn’t want anyone to find out. Especially not his parents.’
