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The longing flared up and was gone in a nanosecond. A blip. Sick, stomach-churning nausea replaced it. I wouldneverhelp Fletcher after what he’d done. I’dneverbreak Miller’s trust. Not even to hurt Julian. Especially not to hurt Julian.
I didn’t want to think about what that meant. The paradigm shift was too dizzying. If I didn’t want to hurt Julian, what did I want to do with him?
Questions I didn’t have answers to haunted me as I drove to Julian’s house. I’d already looked it up on Zillow after he texted me his address, the presumptuous jerk. I knew it was a ten-million-dollar piece of property with a rooftop deck, chef’s kitchen, and ocean view. The standard spoils of nepotism. I tried to use those facts now to drum up some derision. My half-sister had a similar place down in Malibu. Like me, she was working in the family business. Unlike me, she wasn’t coming in at the ground level. No, she was taking Julian’s express path to success. Fletcher had made her a mid-level exec right out of college.
I buttressed myself with disdain as I parked in Julian’s driveway and double checked that the USB was still in the zip-up pocket in my purse. My heart was pounding, but I told myself it wasn’t because I was about to see him again. It was because Iloathedhim. Him and my half-sister and everyone like them. And the fact I was hungry on top of it all was just fuel for the fire. It was going to be 9:30 before I got my groceries and got home to eat dinner, all because Julian had snapped his fingers and wanted something.
I didn’t get a chance to knock on his front door. He must have had a security camera that saw me coming, because he opened it as soon as I turned up the short path. He was backlit so I couldn’t see his expression until I got closer, but from the way he lounged indolently against the doorframe, I knew he was pleased. Satisfied. He was getting what he wanted.
I’d be damned if he goteverythinghe wanted.
“Here,” I said frostily, holding out the USB stick. “Rough cut delivered.”
He reached for it, and I only held onto it for a second longer than I should have before I firmly pushed the fantasy of Fletcher’s approval out of my mind.
“Much obliged,” Julian murmured as he slid it into his pocket. He took a step back. “Come in.”
“Sorry, I’m off the clock now.” I bared my teeth. “Tell Miller you got it.”
“I’ll tell Miller I got it when I know if I got it.” Julian pulled the USB stick back out and examined it. “This could have his anime porn collection on it for all I know.”
I couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped. “He would,” I muttered.
Julian flashed a disturbingly handsome smile. How could someone so golden be so devilish? “You look hungry, Laurier. If you wait while I check the USB, I’ll feed you.”
“I’m not hungry,” I lied ungraciously.
“Yeah? Well come in anyway. You’re not off the clock until I text Miller that the footage was delivered.” Julian backed up further, giving me an exaggerated amount of space to slip through the doorway without touching him. Reminding me wordlessly that he remembered his promise.
Fine, I remembered my promise, too. The promise I made to myself that no matter what, I’d never be my mother. And that meant I’d never go to Julian. I walked past him, up the floating staircase to the main level. Just like it had looked in the pictures. The large island was one solid piece of Calcutta marble. It had a bottle of red wine breathing on the counter, and fat jumbo scallops resting on a platter, marinating in a garlic butter sauce. A risotto was simmering down on the stove. It smelled so good it made my mouth water and my stomach hurt.
My back was to Julian, but the back of my neck prickled. He was watching me. This dinner was no accident. He’d figured I’d be hungry, and he’d laid this feast out like a trap. He was keeping to the letter of his word, but not the spirit. I willed my stomach not to growl and said indifferently, “You’re supposed to drink white wine with seafood.”
“Some rules are made to be broken, Laurier.”
There was nothing in his voice to indicate a double entendre, but my eyes narrowed anyway. Julian walked past me into the kitchen, giving me wide berth. It would have fooled me if not for the smirk curling the edges of his mouth.
“Well, go ahead. Check it already so I can get on with my night.” I avoided looking directly at him as I spoke.
“Just a second, this risotto is almost done.” He poured himself a glass of wine and looked at me questioningly.
“Can’t, I’m not off the clockyet.” It felt good to throw his own excuse back in his face, but Julian only laughed.
“Suit yourself.” He turned to the stove, picked up the pan and angled it left, then right. God, it smelled so good. Since his back was turned, I pressed my hand hard against my stomach. Forget groceries—I’d get a burger on the way home.
Strengthened by the thought, I drummed my fingers on the marble impatiently. “Listen, I don’t want to rush your risotto, but I have places to be, Julian.”
“Yeah? Tell me about it.”
I was flummoxed for a second. I couldn’t very well say the grocery store, or he’d know I was lying about being hungry. And it sounded too sad to say that I had to get back to my cat. “None of your business,” I said finally, and walked through the living room out onto the wide balcony. It was so deep that it was basically another living area with two couches facing each other over a long, concrete fire pit that was currently dancing with blue and orange flames. When I stood at the railing, I could see the infinite darkness of the ocean beyond the boardwalk. If I looked down, I could see the ghostly blue water of the pool.
“Do you like to swim?”
I jumped. I hadn’t heard it come up behind me, but suddenly there he was, leaning his forearms on the railing and looking out at the ocean.
“Who doesn’t?”
Julian looked at me with eyes nearly the same color as the pool below. Prismatic, eerie blue. “People who are claustrophobic.”
