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“You want to do this,” he said, and I couldn’t tell whether it was a question or a statement. It didn’t matter.
“Yes,” I whispered. I wanted it so much I almost couldn’t breathe. I’d waited all this time–my friends losing their virginity one by one until I was the last one left. Until we were at an age when losing your virginity wasn’t a breathless, whispered revelation anymore–it was just expected that it had happened.
Julian’s mouth came down on mine, and I slid my hands up the iron pane of his chest until I crested the hard line of his muscular shoulders. They were tense, one palm braced against the wall beside my head, the other wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him while his other hand simultaneously pushed away. He wanted to do this as much as I did, but he was still conflicted, too.
I parted my lips beneath his, and immediately his tongue breached the divide, finding mine, deepening this kiss. I let myself dissolve into it, losing all sense of time as his mouth took mine. Slowly his resistance melted, and he wrapped his other hand around my waist. It slid up my back until the dress gave way to skin, then stopped at the sensitive nape of my neck.
I had no idea how much time was passing. It could have been minutes or hours or even days. The entire concept of time felt ephemeral and not quite real. It was melting like the space and distance between us. The only thing that felt tangible was his mouth on mine, the span of his hand across my back, the fingers that had moved up to tangle in my hair. So it was a shock when he pulled back slightly and broke the kiss.
I blinked, too disoriented to ask him why.
“We should go upstairs,” Julian murmured. His eyes were shadowed, but I caught a glint of blue in their depths as he pulled back further.
He led me up the steps, his hand firmly wrapped around mine. He must have felt it too, the desperate need not to break contact.
We both paused in the living room, wondering.
“No,” Julian muttered with a shake of his head. “Not this time.”
The words sent a thrill up my spine. Notthistime. There would be more times. I felt it in my bones as he led me up the next flight of stairs. The third floor was new territory.
Julian’s room was large and elegantly appointed within an inch of its life. Clearly the work of a designer, but it felt entirely him. The bed was as big as the ocean with dark, silky sheets. The walls were slate gray, the floor cool and dark beneath my bare feet. I caught a glimpse of a trophy shelf and recognized some of the most prestigious awards that Hollywood had to offer.
All of them except an Oscar.
I smiled at the shelf, picturing a teenaged Julian with the same shelf full of sports trophies.
“What are you smiling about?” Julian murmured, turning to face me.
“You,” I whispered honestly.
His slow, disarmingly sweet grin made his white teeth glint in the moonlight. It didn’t have to sneak in here like it had the stairwell, it streamed in with his full invitation, the vertical blinds pushed back against the wall. “You make me smile too,” he said. “Especially when you let me do this.” He found the zipper in the back of my dress and pulled it all the way down to the end of its track, just over my tailbone.
The bodice of the dress was stiff enough to stand on its own, but I felt the cool night air make its way between the fabric and my body, stiffening my nipples into hard peaks. Julian reached for me again, but I shook my head and stepped forward. “Your turn.” I slipped his jacket off his shoulders, then undid the buttons of his waistcoat. Then, finally, I could work on the buttons of his crisp white shirt. Inch by inch, I revealed his broad, tanned chest. The light golden hair turned silver in the moonlight. The trail of it from his belly button down into the waist of his pants was positively sinful. I pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. I reached for the button of his pants next, but he stopped me.
“Your turn,” he said, and tugged my dress down over my hips until it was a heap at my feet. He hissed in his breath through his teeth. “It’s a good thing I didn’t know you were only wearingthatunderneath.”
It was a black lace teddy from La Perla. Too expensive for my budget, but too beautiful not to buy. Besides, Fletcher had set me up with an account that had paid for the rest of my outfit and shoes for tonight at another store. A business expense, he called it.
What would have happened if you’d known?” I asked, my voice breathless and teasing.
“We wouldn’t have made it home.” He put both hands around my waist and ran them up my ribcage until they were just underneath the swell of my breasts. “You look fucking amazing, Laurier. Now take it off.”
“No, now it’syourturn.” It was hard to focus with the heat pulsing between my legs turning my knees to jelly, but I managed to get the top button of his pants unsnapped. I pulled the zipper down, and Julian let go of me to shove them down with one hand. He was wearing white cotton boxer briefs, but his cock was so hard it was jutting out of them.
My mouth went dry as I looked at it, wondering how on earth it was going to fit inside me. How it would feelgood. But then another wave of lust overtook me, and I stopped caring about the specifics. Though Julian’s hands had moved around to the back of my teddy, trying to flick open the small latches, I sank down to my knees, out of his reach.
His eyes glistened in the darkness as he stared down at me, watching with predatory intensity as I pulled his underwear down and slipped my lips around his cock. His hands, now empty, were clenched, and I could see the tendons standing out in his neck. I slid slowly up and down, enveloping him in my mouth and then pulling back until only the tip remained between my lips.
He let out a choked groan and slid his hand into my hair. His fingers tangled in the length, but he didn’t try to control the movement. He just held on with one hand, and his other slipped down to my breasts. He squeezed lightly, rubbing the rough pad of his thumb over my nipples. The pleasure was exquisite and added to the heat between my legs. I was so ready for him now that I was nearly panting–no longer worried at all about how his cock was going to fit inside. Only worried that I would explode before it finally did.
Julian seemed to be on the same page, because he pulled me to my feet and over to the bed. “I’d like to return the favor, but if I don’t get inside you soon…” he muttered, his voice strangled, and his face clenched.
“I know,” I gasped, scrambling onto it. My heart leapt as I felt the mattress buckle under his weight. On our knees, our mouths found each other again in a fierce, desperate kiss, then he pushed me down against the pillows and pulled my knees apart, settling his heavy thigh between them. His hot mouth came down to my neck, and the sensation rippled through my entire body. I wrapped my legs around his, pushing up against it, desperate for the friction.
“Fuck,” Julian gasped, “I’m trying to goslow, Laurier.”
“Don’t go slow,” I begged. “I want you inside me. Not soon.Now.” I’d waited twenty-five years, but now I felt like I couldn’t wait another second.
