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As I look at her, my stomach drops away, and pain clenches my heart. “I love you. I think I fell for you when you told me I couldn’t come inside that first day at Molly’s. My email address is in your bedroom, and I’d really fucking like you to write to me when I leave.”
“Jayce…” She looks at me with wide eyes, and it slays me.
Panic and fear take over. “I’ve had the best time. And I’ll never forget you, Zennor Williams.” I kiss her, smashing our lips together until I can’t breathe.
“I love you, too. I don’t have an email account, but I’ll get one. Thank you for this.” She smiles at me, running her fingers over the bracelet around her wrist.
“I’ve got to go.” I’ll never be able to say goodbye and wave as we drive off in front of my family.
“What?”
“I packed your cap, and I can’t leave without leaving it for you.” My excuse is lame, but it is true. She can have anything she wants from me, but I can’t spend the day counting down the minutes until we leave.
“But we’ve got hours…”
“I’ll be back to say goodbye.” I tighten the bracelet around my own wrist, ensuring it’s safe, and leave before I crack.
“Jayce!” I hear her call, but I don’t look back.
It fucking hurts too much to stay and wait, so I abandon the romantic plan I put together.
It doesn’t matter anyway, right, because we’ll never see each other again.
That was a pipe dream of a stupid boy in love.
CHAPTER13
JAYCE
Then
Ileave my cap on her doorstep and convince Mum to leave a few hours earlier than planned. We were packed anyway and just grabbed food on the way rather than eating first.
It was shitty.
And I felt fucking awful, but I didn’t want to get choked up in front of Zee or anyone else.
What does that matter now, anyway?
I fiddle with the silver bead tied into the leather bracelet on my wrist and look out of the window at the narrow road. Surfing every day was the lure to come, and it certainly added to the experience. Being in the water fed my soul, but so did meeting Zee. And I don’t care if I’m too young to feel that way. She changed everything for me. She made the sun seem bigger in the sky, the world closer to chase and yet further away in the same heartbeat.
Two weeks and everything changed.
But like Zee said, what were we going to do? Mess up our plans just because we fell in love?
Risk our futures on a first love because our guts told us to? Besides, she never asked me to stay, and she played it off as an experience, that’s all.
For the next few weeks, I go through the motions. The twins finish school and shatter the relative peace at home, and then it’s time. I’ve been packed for days. Everything I could need crammed into a backpack that will hold my life for the next few months.
My surfboard bag has room for my wetsuit, although I hope I won’t need to use it in Bali—the first stop on my tour. Traveller’s cheques, passport, credit card and I’m ready.
“You’re up late?” Mum pushes the door to my room open.
“Couldn’t sleep.” I push the lump of wax over my board, working it around in circles.
“Big day tomorrow.”
“Yep.” I don’t look up and concentrate on the job I’ve done hundreds of times before.
