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“I would have paid a billion dollars for you.” I kissed her nose. “And not just to have sex with you. I wouldn’t trade anything we’ve experienced together. When I found you sleeping in my stables, I never imagined we’d end up here, but I’m so fucking happy we did.”
“Me too.” She suppressed a yawn. “I’m tired.”
“I wouldn’t be shocked if you crashed in a few minutes. I’m going to go get you some water.”
“No.” She reached for me. “Don’t leave.”
“Shh.” I pulled back the covers so she could get under them. “I’m right here.”
“I’m sorry I lied.” She rested her head on my chest.
“It’s forgotten.”
After a few minutes of not talking, I glanced down at her. Her breathing slowed and her eyes were closed. I held her close, trying to push the negative thoughts from my dark mind, but the more time we spent together, the louder the question that had been dominating my thoughts became.
How am I not going to destroy you?
“I love you,” she mumbled, almost as if she read my thoughts.
Her drowsy admission caught me off guard. Did she even know she said it? Did she mean for me to hear it? Now that I did hear it, what was I going to do about it? Love was never an option when I offered her this deal.
Chapter 25
Emmie
I stretched out on the couch in Jude’s study with Sasha curled up by my feet. Jude was lost in his computer screen, giving me the opportunity to start a new sketch of him. A light snow covered the backyard behind him, and the flicker of the fireplace gave the room a gentle glow.
His strong jawline tensed as he read what was in front of him. He occasionally ran his fingers through his hair or along his beard as he typed. He squinted at the screen, but not because he couldn’t see. It was something he did when he was deep in thought. Over the last few weeks, I learned his mannerism and cues, capturing his personality in each sketch I created.
When I drew him, I caught the darkness that drew me to him, but I also managed to find the brightness in his face. The features that showed me the light he didn’t want anyone else to see.
It was a perfect night. The holiday season was in full force. I loved listening to Christmas music, sitting by the tree, and baking cookies with Grace. Jude promised to give me everything I never had as a child, but as long as I was with him, I didn’t care about presents, snow, or lights. Being here with him and the people he cared about was all I needed. I finally had a home.
“What has you so captivated?” He looked up from the computer screen. “I can feel your eyes on me.”
“You.” I closed my sketch pad. “You’re so lost in your work. I like watching you.”
“That’s how I feel when you’re sleeping. I could stare at you for hours. Sometimes, I do.”
“I like falling asleep in your arms.” Laying on his chest and listening to him breathe while he held me close lulled me into a peaceful sleep.
“I like having you there.” He smiled at me. “Last night, you said something that—”
“Daddy!” Cassie yelled as she came down the hallway toward the study. “Daddy!”
“Yes, Cassandra, I’m in my study.” He sighed. “What’s the issue?”
When I sat up, Sasha jumped off the couch and looked around. She was on guard as she went to Jude.
“You know what the issue is.” Cassie burst into the study, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she’d found out that her father had paid Josh a visit last night. “You fucking know!”
“Hey.” Jude abruptly stood from his desk. “Watch your tone.”
“Why should I after what you did?” Cassie came into the room, and Sasha circled Jude’s feet. “Do you know what he did?” She stared at me. “Do you know who you sleep next to every night? What kind of man he is?”
“Cassandra.” Jude came from around his desk. “I would get myself under control if I were you. That’s your only warning.”
“Get myself under control?” She glanced at me. “You may be able to get Emmie to do whatever you say, but I’m a different story. I won’t sit at your feet while you do horrible things.”
