Page 43 of Forgive Me My Sins


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Caius takes one look at us and stalks down the stairs to take my arm. “Are you walking her in, or am I?” he asks Odin. “You get one shot.”

Odin looks at me, and I turn from Caius to him. I steel myself. If I don’t get my shit together right now, I will lose these precious moments with my brother, and I don’t know if I’ll be allowed more.

I stand straighter, squeezing my eyes shut and forcing back tears. All the while, my mind races. Did Santos kill my uncle? Why?

“Let’s go, Maddy,” Odin says, adjusting the veil back over my face, concern wrinkling his forehead. He hates this for me, but he’s powerless to stop it. I know that.

Caius releases me but remains at my back as Odin takes my arm and walks me up the stairs. I see his limp, slight but permanent. My ankle burns with each step but mine is temporary.

“Wait,” Caius calls out.

We turn to find him reaching into the car to take a bouquet of deepest, darkest purple calla lilies—my favorite, actually, wrapped with thick black ribbon. Santos had arranged for them. He’d sent a note with them to say he guessed I’d like them.

I take them from Caius’s hand, shuddering when his fingers brush mine. I look into his blue eyes and think how deceptively beautiful they are. How duplicitous. I wonder about who sent the muff, who wanted me to see that photo today of all days when I can’t do a damn thing about it.

Not that I could have done a thing if I’d received it a year ago. Two years ago. Nothing.

Caius’s eyes burn into mine. He gives me a wide grin that feels colder than the air out here. Could it be him who sent it? He told me once he was loyal to Santos. Is that still the case? It’s been two years since I last saw Caius Augustine. Things change. Maybe they’ve changed for the brothers.

Odin clears his throat and when I turn to him, his eyes are narrowed on Caius.

I let my brother take me into the church, where as soon as the doors are opened, the organist begins the wedding march. It’s surreal, like it’s not me walking down the aisle as people stand and peer back at me. I know nearly all the faces. I grew up among them. Even Ana is here, but I don’t spare a thought for her. My mind is frantically working, trying to understand who would have sent the photo. Why.

I see Evelyn at her place in the front pew. Caius slips in beside her. My father sits across the aisle. I haven’t seen him in two years, and I notice his right hand is gloved. More violence. A gift from Santos the night he saw what my father had done. Odin had finally told me.

I glance up to Odin, but he’s looking straight ahead. I follow his gaze, too, and there, at the end of the aisle, is Santos Augustine. Santos looks more handsome than ever, but he’s a devil in a suit. A killer.

When he asked me to forgive him before he slit the palm of my hand for our blood oath, it wasn’t because he is good or in any way sorry for what he was about to do. He had conscience enough to know it was wrong, but he chose to carry through with it anyway. That’s worse, isn’t it? To know and to choose?

“Maddy,” Odin whispers and I realize I’ve stopped walking, that I’m drawing back.

We’re steps from the altar, and Santos sees it too. The mild smile on his face hardens. A moment later, it’s not my brother’s arm that mine is tucked into. It’s not his familiar, soft warmth against my side. It’s Santos’s hard heat.

“Going somewhere, Little Kitty?” he asks in a whisper that sends a shiver down my spine. He tucks my arm tightly under his and holds onto my hand, and I swear he’s measuring the difference in size between us—feeling how small I am compared to him, how powerless.

His words about having his protection, about not making an enemy of him, come back to me. Isn’t that what I’m destined to do? Aren’t we meant to hate one another forever? What else is there for a union like ours, one born of blood? I grip my flowers with my other hand, holding them so tightly I feel the crushing of their stems but knowing there is nothing I can do to stop this. There’s nothing anyone can do.

Because just as Santos told me five years ago, I belong to him. Tonight, the contract will be fulfilled. There’s no going back, because the bridge that led to my life before has burnt to ash and my future is in the palm of this vengeful monster’s hand.

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