Page 83 of Forgive Me My Sins


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“Come on, Santos. This is me. I know what you did. What we did.”

I take a moment. “Do they know your involvement?”

He looks down into his glass, swirling it, studying it as if there could be an answer there. He shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”

“I won’t tell them.”

He looks up at me. “I’m not afraid of them, and I don’t need you to do me any favors.”

“It’s not a favor.”

“No? In exchange for keeping my secret, you probably want me to nix the move to Avarice. Right?”

“Like you said, you and I will do anything for our families. For those we care about.”

“Do you care about her then?”

The question catches me off guard. “What?”

One corner of his mouth turns upward. “Santos, Santos, Santos.” He clucks his tongue and shakes his head. “Take good care to make sure Camilla never knows that.”

“She’s one of the innocents. You remember those?”

At that he smiles fully, all teeth. “Oh, do I ever. I wish I could forget them for one fucking minute.” He pours the last of the whiskey into his glass, filling it all the way, and drinks it like it’s water.

I understand him because I can hear them too. I can feel their screams locked in each line that marks my arms and shoulders. They burn like fire, as if I were cutting into myself even now. But that was the point, wasn’t it?

He reaches into his breast pocket and takes out his wallet. From inside he draws two hundred-dollar bills and drops them onto the table before sliding to the edge of the booth. “Watch yourself, Santos.”

“You’re full of warnings tonight, old friend.”

“Old friend.” He considers this. “We were friends once, weren’t we? And I still owe you. I haven’t forgotten. I won’t forget. I’ll make things even-Steven when the time comes. Just remember one thing. No one is to be trusted. No one. Not our brothers, not our mothers, not my sister. You and I are truly alone.” He pauses for a full minute, and I have a strange sense of déjà vu. My father had said something almost exactly like this on his deathbed. “Don’t forget it,” Thiago finishes before walking away.

I watch him go, seeing how his shoulders hunch a little more deeply than they used to. I pick the whiskey bottle up, tip the last drops into my cup, and signal to the passing waitress for another.

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