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“We get along well. I just don’t know if it is just casual or something more,” I say honestly, with a small shrug.
“Well, I haven’t known him long, but I have never known Nico to have a girl here at the compound. In fact, I have never seen him with a woman. So the fact that you are here, and he is kissing you in front of everyone, I would say that he is pretty into you,” she says, grinning.
“But what does that mean? These men are the mob, Cat! They are dangerous, deadly, caught up in so many illegal things… I don’t even want to think about it.” I run my hands over my face, my brain constantly misfiring and competing with a range of emotions and information.
“Look, they do what they need to do. We don’t get caught in their business. They look after us. Sebastian treats us all like family. Goldie, his wife, is amazing, and Carter, well, Carter would burn the world down for Ivy and me. No man has ever offered me even a slice of something like that before.” She is right. I feel the same way about Nico, like he would do anything for me.
“I guess this is a big fork in the road for me. A career change, a new love interest. I had my entire life planned. I was so sure running a law firm; looking after the good guys was exactly where I was supposed to be. I hadn’t even thought about a boyfriend or anything else for years. Now I am practically living in the mob compound, sleeping with a mobster.” When I say it all out loud, it is a lot.
“Well, I am not going to tell you what to do. It is your life, and how you chose to live it is your decision, but I will say that sometimes you need to push through the pain to get to the pleasure. And let me tell you, Emi, it is so good once you get to the other side,” Cat says, her eyes glistening, a smile on her face.
“I’m not sure happiness is something a girl like me is supposed to ever get. I wasn’t raised to expect anything like that and, to be honest, I think some people are just destined for a different life. A harder life. And I think I am one of those people,” I whisper out my thoughts, not wanting them to be true, but the realist in me knows I am probably right.
“Everyone deserves happiness, Emi. Especially you.”
I hope she’s right.
32
NICO
Ileft her with Doc for the rest of the afternoon, and now, as I take her by the hand and lead her through the hallways, she seems to be feeling much better.
“Where are we going?” she asks, obviously now clued in on the fact that we are not going to the usual apartment.
“My place.”
“Oh,” is all she says, then remains quiet for a beat.
“Why?” she asks tentatively, which is unlike her, and I stop. Turning, I face her.
“Because I want you with me. I want you with me all of the fucking time. I had one night away from you last night because I was working late with Sebastian, but I slept like shit because you weren’t next to me and in my arms.” I bring my hand to her waist and pull her to me. Her frame leans against mine, her hands coming up and resting on my chest. I hear her hold her breath as her eyes search mine.
“I have no idea what is happening between us, we only just met, but there is no way I want to be without you, and no way I am letting you leave,” I say, grinding my teeth together, waiting to see what she does.
“Is that so?” she replies, her mouth turning upward slightly, and I can see that I won. Her hands grip my shirt as she adds, “You are so bossy.”
“Come on, before I fuck you up against this wall for the entire compound to see,” I say, stepping back, grabbing her hand again and walking toward my apartment, now itching to get there. I step through my door and pull her in, locking the door behind me.
“Wow…” she says in awe as she looks around.
“You like it?” I stand behind her, watching her take a few small steps farther inside.
“This is insane!” she says, her eyes wide.
“It’s a little different from the others...” I trail off, because my apartment is very different from what the other boys have. My space is like a large warehouse conversion. Everything is open on the bottom floor; the living room, kitchen, dining, and office are all open spaces with no walls, no doors.
I can roam around, do my work, and see everything from wherever I stand. Stairs at the back take us up to my private area, including the bedrooms, bathrooms, another private office, and library. Where downstairs is open and industrial, upstairs has a more homey feel, with cream linens and rugs, making it feel warm and inviting.
“This is amazing. I have never seen anything like it,” she says, as she walks up the stairs, wandering around my place. If it was anyone else, I would have stopped them by now. Even my sister has only seen it all once. But I let Emilia roam. I want her to feel comfortable, to feel at home.
“Nico, did you design this?” she asks, as she peeks into one of the bedrooms, before she continues walking down the hall to the master at the end.
“Yeah, Sebastian lets us all manage our own space. I like the industrial warehouse look. It’s very New York, but I also crave the comforts of home, so I decided to mix the two.”
“Oh my God,” she breathes as she opens the door to the master bedroom and steps inside. It is big, with a retreat at one end, housing a sofa and armchair with a TV. I have an oversized bathroom off to the side and a walk-in wardrobe hidden at the back. The bed is big, too big just for me, but as she walks through, it is the view that has her attention.
One whole wall is a floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the courtyard we have in the middle of the compound. It is like a park, actually, lush and green, with my sitting area right in front of it, so I still have my privacy, but can sit in my armchair and think while looking out at the world.
