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I’d been with the doctor while Tripp talked to the detective. Hank says they just asked him if he knew what happened. He knew enough and when he showed him pictures of the two of them, he recognized them both.
He grabs my hand. “Tripp asked me if Tracey was his mom.” Kissing the back of my hand. “I told him that-that she carried him, but she’s not his mom. Was that wrong?”
I hug his hand to my chest. “No, he should know the truth. Yes, he’s young, but he’s a smart boy. He heard her talking when we were there. Did he say who he was talking about last night?”
“Could it be possible he was talking to Gage? Maybe that’s how he was dealing with the trauma. It’s not possible, right?” He turns his head to look at me. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only seen Gage in my dreams, but why couldn’t it be possible? I’d like to think he is looking over his baby brother, and this one when they arrive.” Although I want more than anything for my boy to be here, it gives me comfort to know he’s watching over us.
Hank’s quiet for a moment. “I miss him. Sometimes I forget what he smelled like and it feels like this knife in my heart. When Tripp was little and hitting all his firsts, I’d get hit with this crippling guilt that we didn’t get to see his.”
I wrap my arm around his neck and pull him to me. He begins to cry softly into my neck and I just keep holding on to him, letting him get it all out. He’s been dealing with all this drama too but being strong for us. I let him get it all out, kissing his temple and whispering that I love him over and over.
It takes a while for him to calm down, and when he does, we spend the rest of the day and the following one, snuggling together.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hank
Brooke slips her hand into mine as I climb into the SUV. We just had our first therapy session. Deciding to do it together, we found it to be easier to talk to the therapist together. Today he basically got our history and everything that brought us here.
Tomorrow we’re taking Tripp to see a child therapist. I’m scared that this has fucked him up forever. He cried earlier when we dropped him off with my parents. He’s never done that before, and it broke my heart. Brooke cried all the way to the appointment. Fuck, I hate that fucking bitch and that cocksucker.
The moment we pull into my parents’ driveway, she’s jumping out. I know she’s anxious to get to Tripp, but I don’t want her to freak him out.
“Brooke,” I bark, and that makes her stop. “Baby, don’t go tearing in there,” I say quietly from beside her. “You’ll freak him out.”
She looks up at me, blinking rapidly. Her green eye looks like lush green grass and the brown eye is like milk chocolate. “God, you’re right. I’m sorry,” she whispers.
I wrap her in a tight hug and kiss her forehead. “Don’t apologize. It means a lot that you are so protective of him.”
My parents invite us to stay for dinner and we decide to stay. Tripp stays glued to Brooke’s side and when I carry the burgers out to Dad at the grill, he leans in. “How are you guys holding up?”
“It’s been tough. Tripp’s clingy and most of the time only wants Brooke. She tosses and turns all night.” I scrub my hands on my face. “I talked to the detective on the case. Austin and Tracey are turning on each other, each trying to earn a reduced sentence. No matter what, neither of them will be out any time soon.”
“I wish we could borrow them for just a couple of hours and teach them a lesson.” Back in the day, the club was a lot rougher than we are now. After my birth, they worked to turn it around, but from what I’ve heard, my dad was a bit of a brawler.
I nod. “Same.”
After dinner, we head home, and I give Tripp his bath. While he is playing with the bubbles, I talk to him about his appointment tomorrow. “You’re going to talk to a nice lady and maybe color pictures.”
“Why?” He blinks up at me.
“Uh…well. A lot of stuff has happened, and she just wants to talk to you about it.” I’m not sure how much he understands it all, but I want him to be prepared.
He nods. “Okay.” Tripp goes back to play with the bubbles.
After I get him washed up, I dry him off and dress him in his pajamas. I pull my boy up onto my lap and wrap him in a tight hug. Rocking him back and forth, I whisper against his forehead. “You were so brave. Daddy is so proud of you.” I’m not sure if I’m saying the right thing, but it feels right.
Tripp wraps his arms and legs around me. He rests his head on my shoulder and I give him a squeeze. “Should we go check on Brooke?”
He nods against my neck. I stand with him still wrapped around me. In the living room, I find Brooke curled up in the corner of the sofa with her chin resting on the arm. She smiles when she sees us. “Are you all clean?”
As soon as I sit down, Tripp crawls off my lap and crawls into Brooke’s open arms. I sit next to them and wrap my arm around her shoulders, hugging her into my side. Each day, this will all move further and further behind us.
***
I pace back and forth as we wait for Tripp’s therapy session to be over. She said she’d come get us if there were problems, but as soon as we walked him into the room, he ditched us to go to the cars.
