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He lifted his head and smiled at her. “You gonna punch me, too?”
“I might. Why did you wander away from camp? You scared me half to death.”
“Moose attacked the dogs. Killed Diggy.”
“No, Ellis.” She motioned back toward the dogs. “They’re all okay. Diggy’s right there.”
At the sound of his name, the pup let out a happy bark and wagged his tail.
“See? Diggy’s okay. They weren’t attacked by a moose.”
Ellis looked at the dogs. They seemed so real, but he knew better. His dad’s campfire had been real enough that he felt the warmth right up until it turned into a shrub. He’dsmelledhis dad’s cigar. “I know. No moose. No Dad. No Nate and Damian. No you. It’s all…” He thumped his temple with his numb hand. “Up here. I think I’m dying.”
19
“No,” Bree said firmly. “You are not dying.” But he was ice cold. When she pulled off her glove to touch his cheek, the air immediately sapped the heat from her skin and he still felt cold to the touch. It didn’t help that he’d left camp without the proper gear. And he’d pulled off clothes as he’d wandered. His face mask was missing. He was lucky the storm had blown away the deep, dangerous cold, or else he’d be at risk of losing his nose. He already had a mild case of frostbite.
When she’d come back to camp and found him gone, her heart had stopped. She’d always heard that saying but it wasn’t until that moment she knew exactly what it felt like. The whole world froze, and she couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Then everything had snapped into too-sharp focus and she had screamed his name, hoping he was somewhere close by. She’d searched as far from camp as she dared on foot, but he was nowhere to be seen.
She understood why now. He’d somehow managed to wander several miles from the camp.
She hadn’t been able to go after him until the sled was fixed and each passing minute had made her more frantic. Another storm could blow in. The snowmobiler could find him. A moose could attack, which was apparently what he thought had happened.
When she’d spotted him sitting there, motionless, she’d been afraid she was too late. She’d heard stories of men who froze to death sitting upright, sometimes even with a match in their hand. Men who died trying to light a fire and Ellis didn’t even have that option because she had all of their gear on the sled.
But here he was. Alive. Somehow, miraculously alive. And she planned the keep him that way.
She straightened and scooped an arm under one of his. “C’mon, I’m getting you to the clinic in Solitaire.”
He resisted. “I’m tired.”
“I know.” She pulled harder and he finally staggered to his feet. “All you have to do is ride in the sled with Aleu and stay alive. I’ll do the rest, okay?”
“Okay.” He shuffled a few feet, then said, “I saw Dad.”
She stopped short and he staggered next to her. She faced him. “You… what?”
“Dad told me to take you home. He said you should forget about him.” He gave a humorless laugh. “He was drinking again.”
“Ellis…” She trailed off and rolled her lower lip through her teeth. How did she break it to him gently? “You’re hypothermic. The cold’s making you hallucinate. I’m sorry, but your dad wasn’t here.”
He didn’t seem to hear her. He shook off her grip and swayed toward the sled. “I knew he would be drinking again but for a moment you had me believing he was better. And that maybe I could have a real relationship with him. That’s really why I came out here. Not any of the other bullshit excuses I gave you. Nope. Under it all, I’m still the boy who wants his dad’s love. How pathetic is that?”
“It’s not.” She watched him climb onto the sled with Aleu and her heart squeezed. She knew what it felt like to just want someone to love her. All of her life, until Dr. Will, she’d thought she was defective. That her skin disease made her unworthy of love. Then Dr. Will crashed into her life in his larger-than-life way and showed her that was patently untrue. He was the closest thing she’d ever had to a father, but she knew Ellis wouldn’t want to hear that.
Instead, she walked over to the sled, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. It wasn’t like their earlier kiss, full of passion and promise. This was only a quick, gentle press of her lips against his to tell him he wasn’t alone in this.
When she drew back, he opened his eyes and breathed out slowly. “You’re real.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “I am.”
He wrapped his arms around her and drew her into a tight hug. “Thank you.”
She wanted to stay there forever, wrapped up in his arms, but he didn’t have forever. Even as he hugged her, she could feel his energy flagging. She held him tighter. “Your father does love you and we will find him. You can have the relationship you’ve always wanted with him. He’d love that.”
“And my brothers?”
“Yes, them, too.” Reluctantly, she released him. “But we have to get you to Solitaire first.”
