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He dragged a hand through that wild hair then met her gaze. The look in his blue eyes was as serious as she’d ever seen it. “I need to find him, too. This isn’t just your mission anymore, Bree. Nate and I talked to some people today and… hell, we’re worried. This whole thing feels wrong.”
She sat down heavily as a shocking wave of relief washed over her. She wasn’t alone in this anymore. She wasn’t crazy to be worried. “Thank you.”
“We should be thanking you. We wouldn’t have known or cared that anything was wrong if not for you.”
She released a small laugh. “You’d still be in L.A.”
“Drinking a beer on the beach.”
She collapsed back in the chair as a shiver raced over her skin. “That sounds nice.”
“It is. After we figure this mess out, you should come down for visit.”
Meaning he wasn’t planning on sticking around. Duh. Of course, he wasn’t staying in Alaska once they found Dr. Will. He’d made tracks out of the state years ago and had been dragged back against his will, all but kicking and screaming. Why had she even assumed he would stay with her? Nobody stayed with her except her dogs.
The hint of a smile on his lips faded. “What’s wrong?”
“Uh, nothing. Just tired.” She sat up to unlace her boots. “It’s been a long day and I should get cleaned up. I’m tracking all over.”
She’d left a puddle of melt and mud by the door. Ellis retrieved a towel from the bathroom to sop it up as she stripped off the rest of her winter gear.
Except once everything lay in a pile on the floor and she stood there in only her form-fitting long underwear, she wasn’t quite sure what to do next. Logically, she should wish him goodnight, see him out, and go take a shower. By herself. Without the temptation of Ellis Hunter in her room.
She didn’t.
She crossed her arms under her breasts and stared down at her thick wool socks. Her hair fell forward over her face, covering her scars, and she felt better behind it. Safer.
“Do you want me to go?” He hadn’t moved toward her, but his voice came out rough and scraped across all her nerve endings, making her shiver. A good shiver, not from the cold, but something hot burning deep inside her. As if he’d touched her.
No!everything female in her shouted. She didn’t want him to leave, but she didn’t answer right away. She made herself stop and think about it. Really consider it. Anything that happened between them tonight would be a one-time thing. In the past, that would’ve been fine with her. She never wanted anyone close enough to see her scars, to see how ugly she was, and reject her. All of her past sexual encounters had been with most of her clothes left on.
But Ellis was different. He’d already seen her scars. He didn’t think she was ugly. Maybe she wasn’t beautiful in his eyes, but he thought she was strong and fierce, and she much preferred those adjectives anyway.
He would hurt her, but it wouldn’t be for the same old reasons she was used to. It would be a whole new level of pain when he left.
And he was leaving. He’d said a much not even five minutes ago.
But she was going to hurt whether or not she let him into her bed tonight. He was already too close. She was already going to mourn him when he went back to L.A. so why not indulge in a little pleasure before the pain?
She drew a breath, met his gaze, and stripped off her shirt. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts were small enough that she rarely saw the need for one, and she was glad for that now. Her nipples puckered under the caress of his hungry gaze and she made herself stand still when all she wanted to do was cover up her scars.
“Bree.” He said her name like a prayer and that reverence gave her the courage to hold out an inviting hand.
“Stay with me tonight, Ellis.”
As he accepted her hand and pulled her in for a searing kiss, her choice of words wasn’t lost on her. She’d given voice to exactly what she wanted.
Stay here with me, Ellis. Please, stay.
23
She was beautiful.
She didn’t think so because of her scars, but Ellis had been around the block enough to know everyone had scars. Some, like him, just didn’t carry theirs on their skin. But Bree was stronger than most because she carried her scars for the whole world to see, like a roadmap to her trauma, and he marveled at her as she undressed. Her whole left side was mottled with bruise-like purple, faded gray-brown, and shiny white splotches. Her left leg was thinner than her right, her calf muscle atrophied. An indentation across her lower back looked like the ragged mountain range they had crossed together.
He kissed all of it. Every single scar uncovered as her clothes fell away, every so-called “imperfection” until she no longer tensed at the caress of his lips. He didn’t want her to be self-conscious with him. She had no reason to be.
She was beautiful.
