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I couldn’t help but chuckle at her specifics. “And why not?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m a god, Astrid. It takes a lot to cause me issues.”
Her gaze faltered. “And I know that magic can have some nasty effects on gods. That’s why… Baldur isn’t here.”
I studied her, watching the smallest changes in her. She flickered in and out of a mask so subtly that most would miss it. And that mask covered pain and rage.
I dismissed my shield and approached her. She didn’t move. She didn’t even look up at me. “Talk to me, Valkyrie.”
Her focus slid to my missing hand. She reached out and took my wrist in her hands, her warmth seeping deep into my bones. “Your hand never grew back…”
“I made a rash decision,” I said. “In my grief, I decided I wouldn’t allow it to grow back until I found you. I didn’t think about the possibility that I wouldn’t be able to after a certain amount of time passed.”
Astrid frowned. “You were hurt… because of me. You made strong vows because of me. You searched endlessly because of me.”
Her grip on my wrist tightened. “Baldur is dead… because of me.”
“No.” My voice came out harder than I wanted, but it was needed. “Baldur is dead because of Loki.”
“Loki was able to set a trap because you both were looking for me.”
I tucked a finger under her chin and lifted so she’d look at me. “Loki is a cunning bastard. He would have found another way to go after Baldur had you still been around. You are not to blame. For any of this.”
She shook her head. “If I hadn’t made my mistake—”
“It doesn’t matter, Astrid. I made my own choices. You are not responsible for those, even if they were in response to yours.”
Astrid tipped her gaze down to the ground again. “People get hurt when I’m angry. I have to stay controlled, so that doesn’t happen. I can’t allow myself—”
“Valkyrie, stop.” I lifted her chin again to make her look at me. “Stop suppressing a piece of you. It only hurts you. Stop hurting yourself.”
The corners of her eyes pinched together, and tears brimmed her eyes. “I want to be good. I want to be a good, kind person, Tyr.”
“You can be. But you can also be fierce. Good and fierce don’t have to be at odds.” My thumb grazed her cheek, wiping away a tear that had broken free. “You know that balance. You had that balance before. You were good and kind and gentle. But you were also fierce and lethal. You knew when each side was needed, and never apologized for being who you were. You have to find that balance in this life now.”
Astrid stared, the emotions raging in her eyes subsiding. “You’re the first to tell me that side of me isn’t a problem. Why?”
“I’m a war god, Valkyrie.” I grinned. “And when you’re fierce, you get that look that’s sexy as hell.”
She rolled her eyes so hard I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s one thing I can say I do remember. And seriously, what the hell was with your and Baldur’s reaction to whatever look I gave when casting magic?”
I smirked. “It was only when you cast offensive magic, intended to harm or scare. It was an incredibly deadly look, and damn, was it a turn-on.”
Astrid rolled her eyes again. “Oh, for the love of everything holy! You are something else.”
I chuckled. I wouldn’t apologize for something I wasn’t ashamed of. “Are you ready to try using magic without suppressing another side of you?”
She nodded slowly. “Yes, but I want to try something else first. Before we try your idea, where you might find yourself with a hard-on from some look I give—”
I belted out a hearty laugh. “Being around you already does that.”
Her cheeks turned a perfect shade of pink. Astrid’s eyes flicked down for the briefest of moments, and my cock twitched in response. “Be as that may, I want to see if I can do something. Give me your wrist.”
I held up my arm. “I’m afraid I can’t detach that like I did my hand, so this offer will have to do.”
To my delight, that got her laughing. “Let’s see if I can do this.”
