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Rhoan cupped the back of my head.
I no longer felt perfect. If anything, I’d become a mess, and I knew that everyone could tell. I wanted to get myself together and raise my chin in defiance, but I had no idea where to start.
My head snapped up. “Shit,” I breathed.
I scrambled out of Rhoan’s arms. He cried out in question, but I couldn’t stop now. My feet were still heavy, and the room wobbled uncertainly around me. My castle had been threatened. While I wanted to sulk in my feelings, I had to go back and make sure that everyone was all right.
Before leaving, I spun and cupped Rhoan’s cheek. Beyond him, the glowing apparitions of his Sluagh army watched. They all seemed relieved to see me.
I licked my lips. “Would you mid if I borrowed them?”
He jerked back ever so slightly. I knew that Rhoan had been expecting an explanation or a declaration of affection. Instead, I’d asked if I could borrow the army that he barely knew how to command in the first place.
His hand flew to mine over his cheek. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”
Pain and frustration flared bright in his eyes. He was trapped here. Though I had to go, he would remain trapped here. We barely even had time to find the source of the curse binding him. We should have made that our priority earlier.
Instead, we’d given in to our exhaustion.
I wanted to believe that it’d been worth it to fall asleep in his arms earlier, even if I had woken in Beryl’s nightmare.
“The court is in trouble,” I breathed.
Rhoan’s jaw clenched. His eyes turned glassy. He nodded and turned so that I couldn’t see the emotions that made their way to his face.
Hands clenched at my sides, I tried to think of the right thing to say. We were divided once more, and there was little we could do. I tightened my grip on him because I wasn’t ready to let go.
“You can’t stay,” Rhoan said.
The moment shattered. I sucked in a breath and stepped back. He was right. I couldn’t linger any longer. He motioned, and Sluagh soldiers stepped up beside me. As I turned, I caught the sour twist of Rhoan’s lips as he took in his castle.
He would grow to resent this new title if we didn’t resolve his curse quickly. That was why Beryl trapped me in a nightmare. She knew exactly how to pinpoint Rhoan’s weaknesses the same way Faust had. So long as Rhoan was trapped here while I was fighting elsewhere, his resentment would grow into an ugly beast.
I turned and stepped in-between with one thing on my own lips: “Fuck you, Beryl.”
She was a crafty woman, I’d give her that. She knew exactly where to punch to get the greatest impact. For a brief moment, I wondered what it must have been like to grow up her sister. My mother must have suffered so much.
If what Beryl said was true, then it was her upbringing that’d soured her and turned her into this unfeeling villainess. Had she any other opportunity in life, maybe she could have been a different person.
There was no going back. She didn’t have a re-do button.
14
RHOAN
Fist clenched at my sides, I resisted the urge to tear the hunting lodge apart one brick at a time. My fingers sharpened into claws that pierced my palms. A roar filled my throat. This was what Beryl wanted. She’d planned to keep me on the sidelines because I knew how to lead an army when no one else could.
Tal was a tactical genius, but he knew how to manage long games. I was the one we needed on the battlefield. It was my sharp thinking and resolution that won us the fight each time Beryl pushed.
Now, Cerri marched into another battle without me. She’d left without explaining much, but I knew that this had something to do with Beryl.
I needed to find a way out of here. This hunting lodge couldn’t keep me trapped forever.
But I could almost hear Faust’s laughter in the back of my mind. Though we’d killed him, he seemed to haunt me still. I couldn’t escape the contract that cursed my very existence.
Pressing my hand to my sternum, I recalled the potion that Cerri had forced me to drink. It should have freed me. Why hadn’t it worked? My beast and I were now one. Faust was dead. Yet, I was still trapped.
The relief I’d felt upon seeing Cerri again had nearly taken the fight out of me. The fight was never over, though.
