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Laura drops her chin; she doesn’t see Star’s anger for what it is. Just that movement alone makes me want to rip Star’s wig right the fuck off and give her a kick in the ass that sends her skidding right out of this casinoandthis town. But I don’t.
I stand my ground. Star storms off, still screeching about being late, though curtain is still half an hour away.
And when Laura looks back at me, it’s with a sadness that I know I can remedy. And I will very soon.
Laura steps through the stage door and closes it.
I pull out my phone and make a call to a certain one of my bookies.
It looks like someone’s debts are about to come due in a big way. How unfortunate.
I pocket my phone and stroll from the casino with a whistle on my lips and a fire in my heart.
3
LAURA
Istand in the dollar section of the pharmacy debating how I want to spend the five dollars I’m allowing myself. It’s my one day off, and I’m going to try to enjoy it. I don’t even allow myself to think about how Betty might be doing. I don’t want to fret about it until I find out what the damage is. Thing is, I’m not sure it really matters. I can’t afford anything at this point. I also know there’s no way that I can manage without having a car.
I glance down the aisle and notice a man in a suit standing in front of the female care products. Poor guy. I go back to making my very important choices. I decide on a face mask as the first one before grabbing two nail polishes, too. One is a soft pink and the other so bright it almost appears neon.
I stare at the bath bomb longingly. I can’t remember the last time I had the luxury of soaking in a bathtub or even having one at all. I grab a face scrub and some peach lotion before I make my way to the front of the store to check out. The man in the suit is now behind me. I steal a glance over my shoulder, expecting to see him with some female products, but he doesn't have any pads or tampons. I guess he chickened out.
I always thought it was odd that men get weirded out about buying such things. I never understood why it was a big deal. It’s the same as buying any other product in the store. I mean, no one thinks that they're using them personally. Men need to get over themselves when it comes to this.
I’m obviously still holding on to the grudge of the time I thought I was dying when I was fourteen and Scott would not pick any up for me. When I asked, he looked at me as if I had two heads.
“Next,” the cashier calls. I set my basket down and check out with my few items before making my way to the bakery by my house. Tracy smiles at me when I enter. She doesn’t need to ask what I want. I’m here every Tuesday.
I always get the same thing. A double chocolate brownie and one large hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. It doesn’t matter if it’s a hundred degrees outside, I still get it. I’m addicted to the chocolate creamy goodness, and it’s the one indulgence I always allow myself.
I pull out the five dollars and six cents and place it down on the counter for her. As always, the place is slammed. A few minutes later, she drops my bag and my cup down for me before grabbing the cash off the counter.
I push out of the store to head back home. It would be nice if on one of my days off the heat would let up and I could go to the park or something. Instead I’m holed up in my five-hundred square foot apartment.
I take the alley between Gino’s Italian Cuisine and the laundromat. It leads to the back door of my apartment. I fumble with my stuff to try and get my keys out. I scream when I drop my hot chocolate and it splatters all over my leg.
I grit my teeth and wait for the pain to fade. It doesn't. I shove my key in the lock and open the door to the stairs that go straight to my place over Gino’s. I think at one time this was meant to be an office or something. It’s tiny, but I don’t need a lot of room. More than anything, it’s cheap, and I’m not in the worst area of town.
When I get upstairs, I drop everything onto the small table before grabbing a hand towel to try and clean off my legs. I cringe when I see red welts already starting to form. I bite my bottom lip when it starts to tremble. I willnotcry. It’s only a few small burns and a lost hot chocolate. I suck in a breath and go over to the table to sit down. Why can’t I have one day where I don’t have to worry about anything? When everything goes the way it’s supposed to? The tears threaten even more.
I really should have taken the handsome man from the casino up on that date. One nice night out sounds heavenly. Would he dote on me?
“That’s pathetic,” I tell myself when my mind lingers on the thought of him taking care of me.
You need to take care of yourself. I give myself a hard nod, which shakes a couple of useless tears free. I know it wouldn’t only be a night out when it came to that handsome stranger. He has heartbreak written all over him. I have this weird tendency to get attached to things and obsess over them. I have no control over it. Kind of like brownies and hot chocolate. It’s always the same.
My phone buzzes from inside my purse. Only two people have my number. My brother and Star.
“Hey,” I answer.
“I don’t think she can be saved.” At least Scott sounds mildly apologetic.
I close my eyes. “It would cost more than the whole car is worth to fix it.”
I nod. Another tear slips from my eye that I quickly wipe away. I knew it was coming, but still I was holding on to one small piece of hope. How can all my luck be bad? Shouldn’t something good get to slip in there every now and then?
“Laura?”
