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I contemplated my life without a university degree before mentally kicking my thoughts far away. Tiredness was my weakness. It lowered my barriers too quickly for my liking. Was it any wonder I took so long getting ready? I used that time to build myself back up, ready to face what lay in wait for the rest of the day, head on. At least it wasn’t like yesterday morning, with Lizzie waking me up way too damn early. I was on my own time limit right now and I could cope with that.
Soon enough, I was up, dressed, and caffeinated sufficiently before I made my way towards the main college. Veering to the mail room first, I collected some letters addressed to me and stuffed them in my backpack to deal with later. I took a strawberry chewing gum from the packet and popped it in my mouth, shoving the rest of the packet into my pocket. Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I took the time to wander aimlessly around the campus as my other lecture wasn’t until after lunch. I wasn’t even sure why I was here, I just knew I needed out of my dorm room. It wasn’t until I sauntered into another room deep in my daydream that I realised where I was and who occupied the space.
Hollis Davis. Texas Penn. Preston Lowell.
The boys I’d spent my childhood with, playing in treehouses, running around and laughing together. The three boys who had my heart beating quicker than any of our other friends had all hardened into gorgeous men.
In two years they’d lost all boyish features and they seemed to have lost their innocence too. It made me curious about what had changed with them, but curiosity wasn’t a luxury I could afford.
They sat at a large table with quite a few others in one of the building’s social recreation rooms, and hadn’t noticed me yet. I was glad about that. It allowed me a few moments to study them individually before formally fronting it out.
Because they already knew I was here; everyone talked in our circles. But I knew I had to keep my distance, to keephimappeased and to protect myself. Eventually, the lies, deceit and secrets would catch up with me, but I wouldn’t be the one to set off the bomb to cause the avalanche that would smother us all.
Preston laughed alongside a few boys I hadn’t seen before, some of his young boyish features displayed with his laughter. My smile wanted to be let out in retaliation, but I schooled it back, keeping my blank mask intact.
I knew his heritage attracted an array of women; he wasn’t just beautiful, he was devastatingly gorgeous. His unusual Asian mixed-race ancestry shone through in his sharp features, smooth white blemish-free skin, inky black hair, and the most unforgettable oriental muddy brown eyes. There was nothing plain about Preston’s eye colour. They always used to hold a sparkle like he was holding back a secret. He was in incredible shape, a sinewy build. It suited him—defined and lean, but not overly bulky.
A few seats down, I spotted Texas. A white short sleeved t-shirt brought attention to his tanned and muscular arms, the top hugging his biceps generously. His body had always been heavily built, but he’d added to that. He was covered in a display of eye-catching black and grey tattoos from his wrist to beyond where his t-shirt sat. I wondered how far they went and what else he was hiding under that clothing.
Texas displayed himself as if to say,fuck you, this is me, and not giving a damn about it. I doubted much had changed in his attitude; he’d always been snarky, sarcastic, and angry. Dirty blonde hair had grown to sit on his shoulders, and those eyes. Goddamn, if they weren’t the most piercing emerald green eyes that pulled me from my personal horrors time and time again.
At what seemed to be the head of the table, lording over his loyal subjects, sat the last piece of the trio. Hollis. A tattoo ran down the inside of his left arm with some fancy lettering which I couldn’t decipher. He’d bulked up massively. Not that he wasn’t brawny before but now he matched closely to Texas’ impressive frame. The sides of his head had been shaved close while the top held the light fawn-brown curls that I’d always loved on him. It somehow always made him seem softer.
Ice-blue commanding eyes cut in my direction, straight to where I stood. They seared through me, making me hot all over, not that I would outwardly display that. It was as if he had known all along I was watching, but he allowed me a moment to do so. He’d perfected a blank canvas, staring at me as if he couldn’t care less whether I was in his vicinity. He would care if I wanted to cause problems. I didn’t. Yet.
Pulling my gaze away from the three men, I peered round the table, recognising some of the other boys too.Men, not boys anymore.
Lee, Daniel and Adam. I’d bumped into Daniel yesterday and was under no illusions that he hadn’t reported back. These men were close, had been since childhood. And I was included in that seeing as I was the only legacy girl within a few years’ age range of them. But that was before I’d left everything and everyone, before I hopped in a car to take me hours away to another school with no explanations.
Regretting that decision was pointless because I knew if I had stayed here, I’d have become a walking corpse. I would have lost the friendships I had, by going away it allowed no questions to be asked. I didn’t have to be seen daily by those who could have broken down my barriers and dragged my truth to the surface.
In my time away, I’d built up immunity and become stronger. Locking away secrets was a forte of mine, they didn’t know me anymore. And if I didn’t want somebody to know something, they never would. Not by my voice nor by my physical reactions, I’d been trained well enough that my poker face was impenetrable.
Strolling over to their table, I felt the gaze of others watching my approach. A few knew who I was, but not everyone. I spotted Barbie with her three accessories alongside more girls and guys at the table. I dismissed them, looking between the trio.
Freakishly, they all stood up as one, so naturally in tune with each other. Each one of them stood at above six feet. A mixture of emotions flitted across their faces, all except for Hollis—I didn’t catch him off guard for a moment.
Preston and Texas’ expressions morphed into a flat look with Preston crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Texas raised an eyebrow with an unkind smile, the kind of smile that said he would crush me underneath his shoe then flatten me back out just to do it again for the fun of it. Hollis stood there blankly, refusing to engage and acting thoroughly bored; it probably tookmoreeffort for him to act bored in itself.
At that moment, I didn’t care what I’d done to feel the backlash and animosity from them because they knewnothing. I wouldn’t stand for it, and it was time they knew I wouldn’t put up with it, from them or anybody. A sense of calm overtook me as I stood there, cocking my hip to the side with feigned confidence, and not leaving despite the discomfort it caused.
“Hey, good to see you again,boys,” I stated, offering them a fake grin; my insinuation wasn’t missed.
All their eyes hardened in defiance, but before they could get a word out, I lifted my hand, cutting that process off before one of them jumped down my throat. I genuinely couldn’t be bothered with it today. I just wanted my say, then I’d be done.
“I’m legacy too. Perhaps you should remember that. I don’t care how many groupies you have running around after you; if they decide to cause me an issue, it will become your problem too, especially if I have to take time out of my day to address it.” I smirked at seeing the stunned faces around us from putting the legacy kings in their places. I doubted it happened often. Shame, their egos clearly needed to be knocked down a peg or two.
“Well, well… haven’t you turned into an alluring little bitch,” Preston taunted, licking his lips like that idea was a turn on for him. I saw the laughter brimming in his eyes, even with the impassive look.
Not rising to the challenge, I rolled my eyes and ran my tongue over my lower lip. And with that slight movement, most of the men watching our exchange followed that action.Typical. The girls outright sneered at me; I knew they would. It was a power move, one to put them in their places too, which was below me in the pecking order.
It wasn’t fair, but fair was a fairy tale we used to placate those who believed that the good people, the kind people, got the nice things in life because life wasfair. And bad people were penniless and awful things happened to them. Reality was we got the cards we were dealt, and we had to either fight or live with them to survive this existence we called life.
Openly challenging them was a bold move in front of their people. I just didn’t care, though. I wanted to coast through university and deal with what was on the other side of that mountain. They were insignificant to that.Sure, Milla, keep telling yourself that.
“You can’t speak to them like that!” one girl blurted out with the most irritating, whiny voice.
“Bitch, you’ll get what’s coming to you,” Barbie declared loudly, drawing even more attention to us than we’d already gathered.
