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How the hell did I end up here? My memories are foggy, and the pain is too distracting now I’m fully awake. Closing my eyes, I focus on my other senses to try to figure out where I am. The air is thinner, as if I’m tucked far, far away from the fresh, oxygenated surface of outside. A continuous drip, drip, drip of water sounds from deeper within the tunnel, droplets echoing around the rocky walls, followed by the faintest sound of ripples. Rainwater, judging by the vague sulfur smell. That, and the almost-suffocating dampness clogging my throat, tells me there’s a large body of water nearby, and I conclude I’m probably underground.
If the circumstances had been different, I would have loved to have stumbled upon this hidden treasure cove and explored its depths at my leisure. Cocooned in a forgotten pocket of the earth like this, I would have normally felt at peace in the cool darkness. But that tranquil state is too distant now. Physical feeling begins to settle back into my body, allowing me to flex my fingers – stretching them outwards and then balling the digits back into tight fists behind me, hissing at the burn circling my wrists.
“Ahh, you’re awake,” a gravelly voice reaches me from behind, causing me to freeze. I’d been so focused on the sounds in front of me with my one available ear, I haven’t noticed my apparent captor creeping up from behind. The heel of a boot jabs into my shoulder and roughly forces me the rest of the way onto my back. With my hands trapped beneath me and the weight of the silver muzzle pressing down on my lower face, I helplessly whine like a battered puppy. A humorless laugh forces me to open my eyes and glare at the piece of shit who’s done this to me.Carrick.
The vampire stands comfortably upright, arms crossed, and neck only bent to glare down at me. His light brown eyes don’t give away emotion, and his passive face appears bored. But his stance speaks volumes. Bunched shoulders, rigid posture - he’s pissed.
I try to ask what the fuck he’s looking at, why I’m here, and what he wants, but nothing comes out. The silver burns have stretched from my jaw to my lips, making them tight and unmovable.
“I have to say, little princess, I’m disappointed. I had hoped you’d prove a bit more of a challenge. Breaking someone’s spirit is one of the greatest pleasures in life,” Carrick sighs with an evil sneer. My ears twitch. I’ve heard a similar statement previously from Conall.
Ignoring the insult, I can at least revel in not giving him something he would have enjoyed – although it isn’t in my nature to admit defeat. His gaze rakes down the length of my body, making me suddenly aware of how very naked and vulnerable I am. I squirm, desperately trying to twist back onto my side and cover myself from his invasive leer but fail miserably.
“I’ve had my eye on you for quite some time. Long before our formal introduction in the forest,” Carrick bends down, stroking one finger from my chin, between my cleavage, and over my stomach. I jerk my bound legs upwards quickly, a half-assed attempt to knee him in the face and stop his finger from reaching any lower. He chuckles at me, pushing my legs back down forcefully and leaving his hand on my thigh. Bile rises in my throat at his touch, threatening to choke me, but at least he’s not attempting anything else... for now.
“You looked quite different the first time I saw you, though. Innocent, young. I preferred your natural hair coloring,” Carrick tugs on my white locks. I try to pull back from his grip, but his hand latches on tight, and I only succeed in causing more pain to my own scalp.
Wait… I stop fighting and stare up at him, rendered silent. What does he mean, my natural hair color? The color of their wolf defines a shifter’s hair and is only determined upon the first shift at thirteen. Carrick couldn’t have possibly known me any earlier than that…right? Lying still, I wait to hear the rest of the story he’s clearly eager to tell. That’s typically what psychopaths do before they kill their captives.
“Vampires are solitary creatures; we live to play a role and prefer our solace the rest of the time. It was almost too easy for Lorcan to keep his affair going for so long. In fact, he was so in tune with your mother, he didn’t even realize I was following him,” Carrick smirks, drawing a figure of eight on my eight.
“Even I can admit she was beautiful, but shifters are the enemy. The one foe we’ve spent our entire existence fighting. I could foresee him planning to bring her to the castle, but she broke his heart before I had to intervene. Destroyed him so much that he never looked back. But I did. I watched her belly swell, I watched you fool the alpha, and then your first shift. It was mighty impressive.”
I struggle against my binds, not wanting to hear anymore. Knowing Carrick has been present during my entire life makes my skin crawl. How seriously did he take his detail operation, and just…how thorough was his self-imposed mission? I feel sick, twisting my head away from his penetrating gaze.
“That’s right, princess, I was always there. I saw you for the threat you were. It was only a matter of time before Lorcan’s discovered the truth, and I’d be damned if some pathetic little half-breed was going to sit on the vampire throne. I had to do something. Little did I know, you were even more pathetic than I realized, and your mother paid the ultimate price.”
My breathing slows, barely functioning as my brain hunts for an answer between Carrick’s words. My mom died of an illness. There was nothing I could have done, nothing to prevent it from claiming her body…right?
* * *
“You need to eat, sweetie.”Mom shifts the long curls I’ve let fall over my face, hiding my shame behind the white sheet of hair. The mattress dips as she lays on my single bed, spooning my body from behind. I know I shouldn’t waste her precious visits, but I can’t bring myself to perk up. If anyone should be allowed to see the real me, it’s her. Cradled in her warmth, I release the sobs I’ve been trying to suppress. I shouldn’t be so weak; I should be used to the taunts of other adolescent shifters by now.
“It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” Mom soothes, whilst stroking my arm. But how can she promise that? They’ll never stop because I’m a freak of nature. A reject they won’t leave alone.
I’d been swimming in the sea earlier this afternoon, relishing in the burn of my muscles with every stroke I took. The cool water soothes my stress, the underwater world taking me to a different dimension in my mind. Gliding beneath the surface, I can pretend I’m not abnormal or odd. Just myself lost in my own thoughts amongst the fishes.
A sudden explosion of bubbles to my right makes me screech underwater, needing to surface to cough out the water I’d ingested. Another large mass collides with the water next to me, followed by many more. Looking up, I see a whole group of shifters around my age on the cliff’s edge, laughing down at me.
A hand grabs my ankle, dragging me under. More hands push down on the top of my head, to keep me struggling in the blue depths, my lungs burning with the need to take my next breath. My free foot connects with the face of whoever is holding my other ankle, and I throw a fist into the nearest groin. I manage to free myself from their grasp long enough to breach the surface and fill my lungs before four young males lurch up and tug me back under.
My struggles are pointless, and I’m not able to catch them off guard a second time. A pair of hands hold each of my wrists and ankles, pulling me further and further down, the light above dimming. The edges of my vision darken. Bubbles escape my lips, and my body’s protests cease. Next thing I know, I’m receiving mouth-to-mouth from my mom on the sandy shore in the setting sunlight.
After a while, long after the sobs had stopped and the tears have dried on my cheeks, Mom releases a long sigh and rises from the bed. “Well, I’m not going to waste this meal I’ve prepared,” she says while busying herself behind me, plating up and pulling the wicker chair over to a makeshift crate table to eat alone. Staring at the wooden panel alongside the bed and listening to her soft movements, I soon drift off into a restless sleep filled with aqua ripples and fading light.
The next morning, I received the news of her illness. Flustered, desperate to get to her, I didn’t see the words etched into the stone of my hut until I returned, broken and alone. ‘Trust the ravens.’ I didn’t care to heed her advice, not when she hadn’t taken that last opportunity to tell me she loved me. Curled upon the floor of the exile hut, I wept once more until every ounce of warmth inside of me withered and died along with her.
* * *
Carrick’s laughterbrings me back to the present. Relentless tears slide down my face, slipping under the muzzle. The saltiness stings the burns on my cheeks, and I can’t bring myself to care. Realization must be shining through my leaking eyes as Carrick nods in answer.
“While she was so distracted consoling her pitiful juvenile, I slipped poison into the food intended for you. Your mother paid the price for your weakness. Although I must admit,” he teases my hair with morbid fascination. “I was going to wait until our wedding night to reveal my hand once I was named king. If only you hadn’t been foolish enough to think those three idiots could be your mates. The only mate you’ve been gifted is a fucking raven, and not even he could stand staying with you.” Carrick stands, laughing louder as he walks away. “I won’t fail in killing you this time, Aspen. And I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
Chapter26
Chase
Bouncing on my heels at the castle’s main entrance, I impatiently wait for the sun to finally set after a painstakingly long day. I don’t bode well with the feeling of helplessness, and I was dangerously close to braving another battle with the sun if it will bring me closer to her. Only the thought of not being alive to find her stopped me.
