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“Aspen, please. You can shift back now, I’ve got you. We’ll take care of you.” Crimson coats her fur, tainting the luscious white coat, but I can’t pinpoint the source of the injury. I suspect they’re hidden on the female within as her wolf fights to protect her.
Glancing up at the beam of moonlight, a tear leaks from my eye. Crashing continues to round the foundations of the cavern, the rumblings becoming duller as my mind detaches itself from reality.
Aspen has been the focal point of my life for eight years. Time which flew by without me ever really grasping it. She was never just an obligation. From the day I was assigned to her detail, I knew Aspen would come to mean more to me. Without her knowledge, I gave her my vow—the promise that I would always keep her safe. And I’ve failed.
Life wouldn’t be this cruel to take her from me this abruptly. Our time together has barely started. We still have so much to share, so much to do. I shake her body more forcefully this time, refusing to accept what my eyes are showing me. I need her. Her laughter, her sarcasm, her lips, and her feisty attitude.
I decide to try calling directly to her wolf instead, shoving my nose into her damp neck and nestling into her. Her sweet scent is fading, but it’s still the best aroma I’ll ever know. I can’t live in a world where this smell no longer exists. But the motionless animal beneath my cheek becomes colder with each passing second. An empty vessel of the most extraordinary being that’s ever lived. The one who was mine for a single, glorious moment.
Shuffling my knees forward, I lay the wolf’s head on my lap. Stroking her ear, caressing her nose. It’s only a matter of time before the tie that binds us snaps, and I also draw my last breath. It can’t come soon enough.
Tears seep from my eyes, smattering one of the last remaining patches of white in black dots. I smooth them away, not wanting anything to taint her beautiful wolf—especially the love I spent too long holding back. Nothing will hold me back now. I cry with every ounce of my anger and despair. My limbs grow heavy, not as heavy as my heart. Everything else is numb.
The wall at my back explodes, rocks slamming against my back. I don’t even wince. Three males rush to her side, three accusing stares landing on me.
“What the fuck?!” Chase growls, making a move toward me, but Jaxon’s arm bars his approach. I look down to Aspen’s prone form, absentmindedly stroking her snout. They need someone to blame, and Carrick isn’t here, so it’s left to me to voice the obvious and destroy my own soul along with it.
“It’s too late. She’s gone.”
Chapter29
Torsten
Athroat is cleared in the distance, but I don’t raise my head to acknowledge it. The tears ran out a while ago, but I still won’t move. Snuggled between her neck and shoulder blade is exactly where I should be. I stroke the back of my hand down the soft length of her nose repeatedly.
“The sun will be rising soon,” Kofu interrupts again. No one pays him any mind. I’m consumed by grief, fully aware we’re all lying directly under the skylight with our wolf. Our Aspen.
“We know,” I reply hollowly, mostly so he’ll go the fuck away. Leave us to mourn. Leave us to die. There’s a pause before a responding sigh.
“Very well. I’ll wait outside to carry you out and see your bodies are returned to vampire territory.” Damn, I don’t want to respect him. I don’t want tofeelanything. His boots scuffle away, leaving us in the peaceful quiet with Aspen once again. I imagine her voice filtering through the air. The attitude she would give me for using her as a pillow. Her attempt to overpower Jaxon and Chase, to shove them off her back. The giggles and mini celebration dance she’d do when we let her win.
Cradling her head, a sob is torn from Sawyer, and I have to admit, he’s the one who will suffer the most. He doesn’t get an easy out, and out of us all, he’s the one with a legit moon bond that will snap, destroying him from the inside. He’ll be left alone to endure the agony, and the black tears leaking from his all-encompassing eyes show he knows it.
I barely notice the first ray of light filling the chamber until my skin begins to overheat. The temptation to shoot away and hide in the shadows is strong, but I stay exactly where I am. I won’t leave her, neither will those devoted to her memory. We didn’t get the chance to complete our mating ceremony, but that doesn’t lessen our commitment. We’ll follow her anywhere, even to the afterlife.
My skin begins to bubble and blister. My core temperature rising rapidly, and the sun isn’t anywhere near directly overhead yet. But the pain of my death won’t even compare to the pain of a life without Aspen.
With the loss of the moon, the fur beneath my face begins to retract back to reveal smooth skin. Raising my head, a bone snaps in Aspen’s chest cavity, followed by another and another, until the whole cavern echoes with the continuous cracking. Each one pierces my head like a gunshot, felt in the depths of my soul. Soon, our beautiful mate is revealed, her skin too pale and delicate features too slack. Her hair has taken on a silvery dullness that’s as devoid of life as she is. I wait on bated breath, a slither of hope snaking through my chest as I wait to see my silent pleading to the moon has been answered, but as the seconds tick by and the burns on my body increase, there are still no signs of life.
Still holding her face, Sawyer presses a wobbly kiss to her lips and eases her head into the crook of Chase’s elbow.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t have our forever,” he whispers. Shifting to stand, Swayer takes a few steps back. Not moving too far but giving us the space we need. He can mourn long after we’ve gone, and his understanding of our sacrifice is a lasting gift I’m immensely grateful for.
Moving Aspen, ignoring the agony slicing through me, the three of us bundle around her body on the ground. A tangle of large muscles, all desperate to get closer to the lithe body in the center. Lowering my head on her stomach, I weep silent tears, soaking in the full sunlight from above. Blisters burst over my exposed skin, pulling an involuntary groan from my lips. I hug Aspen tighter, praying I’ll be with my angel soon.
“I was meant to be yours,” I mutter, stoking her soft skin with a calloused hand.
“We were meant to be one,” Jaxon adds. No truer words have been spoken. My best friends, my brothers. The males I grew up alongside, trusting with my life. It was only fitting to trust them to cherish my mate in the same way. Fate isn’t a concept I believed in until Aspen. Living by her desires and dying by her will is my destiny. I just wish it didn’t have to come to fruition so soon.
A light thump flutters against my hand. I sigh, eager for my heart to stop mimicking what I wish to be true. Burying my face into her abdomen, another soft thump beats. Followed by another. Focusing my hearing over the sound of blood rushing through my ears, desperately trying to keep my body functioning against the onslaught of burning, I latch onto it—the faint rhythm of a heartbeat that doesn’t match any of the males in the cavern.
“She’s alive!” Elation floods my system, but my body refuses to move. I struggle against the tightness of my charred skin, forcing myself upright and unable to contain my roars of torment. “Sawyer! Get her out of here,” I grunt. He’s quick to flock to my side, but it’s not Aspen he aids. Pushing his arms beneath Jaxon’s bulk, he drags my lifeless comrade toward the pool and tosses him inside before repeating the process with Chase. Holding Aspen as carefully as I can, I struggle to shuffle backward out of the direct beam of sunlight. Shedding his trench coat, Sawyer dives into the water, resurfacing with a spluttering pair of scorched soldiers.
Pushing myself beyond the pain, I grip Aspen beneath the shoulders and knees and stagger to my feet. I stumble unsteadily out of the UV rays in the direction I heard Kofu exit. Noticing an opening in the wall ahead, I use my last shred of energy to shoot forward into the safety of the shadows, crashing to my knees and shattering my kneecaps in the process. But I manage to keep Aspen from harm, and that’s all that matters.
Placing her down, I notice her wounds still haven’t begun to heal. I instinctively tear my burnt wrist open with my fangs and hold the sliced vein above her lips. Using my other hand to open her mouth, I watch my blood drip onto her tongue, urging her to wake enough to swallow. She doesn’t stir. Pushing my wrist against her lips, I squeeze the wound to drain as much of my life force into her as possible before the wound closes.Come on, baby, come back to me.
Suddenly, Aspen’s hand shoots up and clings onto my arm desperately as her fangs bite into my flesh hard, dragging a pained groan from me. She sucks on my wrist with such force, and despite the severity of the situation, my dick can’t help but notice. I fall heavily onto my side, wincing at the contact against the scabs lining my body. Once satisfied, Aspen slumps back with a deep sigh. Her eyes flutter open, and she turns her head to face me. Gold specks within the navy depths captivate me—a shocked look of understanding dawning.
