Font Size:  

“Thanks, I hope this dress will be okay?”

I look into her eyes and take her by the waist. Beneath the fabric her skin is warm, and suddenly I realize how much I’ve missed being so close to her. She’s been so distant, and as she looks up into my eyes I swear I see something that I just can’t place. All I know is that it’s not a good thing and that her sparkle is missing.

“Whatever you wear will be more than okay.” What I mean to say is that no amount of fabric or money can ever distract from her and what she means to me. I know at this moment, that’s more than I ever could have imagined when we started out on this journey together.

“You look good, too,” she says, but the smile she gives me doesn’t reach her eyes.

We head down to the car, her fragrance enveloping me as she sweeps past the door I hold open for her and steps inside. When I get in next to her, she doesn’t look over at me as she’s done in the past, just turns her attention to her passenger window.

The drive is a silent one. Uncomfortably so. Not for her, it seems, as she’s off somewhere in her own head. But to me, she’s even more distant than she has been these last few days and that feels off.

Right now, I’m not sure of much, but I do know that I’ll talk to her tonight. If she’s as unhappy as she seems to be, then I’ll let her go. All I want for her is to be happy, and if that’s what it takes then I guess I’ll have to do it.

It’s not like me not to know the pitch because I always know what I want and usually get it. But I don’t want to have to sell that idea to her because deep down, it’s not what I want. She’s taken root in my heart, and I want her more than anyone or anything I’ve ever wanted before.

“Bad day at the office?” I finally ask, breaking the silence between us.

“Huh?” she replies without even turning to me.

“How was your day? You seem a little… distracted.”

She looks back at me with eyes that I could drown in, even though they are missing something. As if the essence of her has been drained from them. It rips my heart in two to think that I may be responsible.

“Fine,” she says. “I’m just tired.”

“Yeah, we won’t stay too late, I promise. I’ve had a bit of a struggle today, too.”

‘Mmmn.”

There’s no point in pursuing any further conversation – it’s obvious she’s not interested. It’s almost like she’s a completely different person than the Amber I know and have grown to love.

What have I done to her?

I grip the steering wheel tight, wishing it was my own flesh. I'm so angry at myself. Amber, my beautiful Amber. I should never have gone along with this and drawn her into something she obviously can’t bear.

A few moments pass when she turns to me unexpectedly. “You know, I was thinking of my friend Honey today.”

“Oh, really?” I ask, wondering where this sudden admission has come from. Whatever, I’ll take it. At least she’s talking to me.

“She was telling me about a nice day she had with some kids she used to babysit. Do you like kids?”

This completely catches me off guard. I mean, I don’t dislike them particularly, but I’ve never been overjoyed to be in the presence of a child, either. All in all, I suppose I’m not bothered either way. They’ve never really been a consideration for me.

Until now, that is.

Now that I have her –hadher – my outlook on life has changed. What seemed so important – the money, the business, the deals – all feels a little less urgent. With Amber, I could be the type of man with a family. With her at my side, I want to be so much more than the dollar signs above my head.

Is this what she’s thinking? Is that why she’s been so withdrawn?

I take a big breath. “I never was fond of kids, but –"

“I’m not fond of kids, either.”

Her words almost cut me down, and I don’t venture further with the topic. We ride the rest of the way in silence though I can’t help but hope she’ll return to what she was wanting to say.

But it seems it’s not going to go down that way.

The party, even in full swing, feels empty and lacking because she’s so distant. It’s not like her, she’s usually so full of life.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
Articles you may like