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I think back to the years of struggling and barely getting by, and I know my mother and I deserve so much better. We’ve been through hell since losing my father, and we haven’t even been able to mourn properly. She lost the love of her life and the father of her child, and I lost my father, but the debt that drowns us keeps us too focused on surviving to truly deal with our loss.
If I get this money, we can finally slow down and heal from it. I can finally start to forgive him for leaving me with so much to clean up after him. I don’t resent my father but having his debt off our shoulders, and bringing air back into our lungs, will make it a lot easier to remember the positive things about him.
Everything in the contract seems reasonable enough, and if I can get past the bedroom issues, it’ll be fine. That’s easy enough. I can throw some pillows between us and always remember to change my outfits in the bathroom.
I return to reading the terms one last time, looking for red flags.Despite the uncomfortable living arrangements, I don’t see anything else I don’t agree with or benefit from. Just do this, get through the year, divorce and never look back. You can do this!
He sits across from me, never breaking eye contact the entire time my insides fight for a decision. His eyes nearly burn through me, making my heart race, and I glance at his lips.
God, why does he have to be so attractive? I guess that’s one good thing about this. I’ll have a nice view over the next year.
“Fine. Can I have a pen?” I ask, heart racing even faster now. He pulls one from the pocket of his dress shirt, leans forward and slides it across the table toward me. “Thank you,” I say and sign my name as fast as possible before I can change my mind.
He grabs the contract and pen and slides them back to his side of the desk. He opens the top drawer and grabs something out of it.
“Perfect. Now that that’s done, here!” he says. Holding his hand out, he tries handing me whatever he pulled out of the drawer. Curious, I lean across the desk to accept the mystery item. He places a small box in my palm, and I open it to find a beautiful diamond ring.
“Wow. This is gorgeous. Did you buy this just now for the arrangement, or have you been carrying this around the whole time?” I ask.
He ignores my question and sits back in his long-backed leather chair. “This will be what you wear to show we are married. Hope it suits you!” He grins again, and his perfectly sculpted jawline protrudes, reminding me how handsome he is.
Go! You have to get out of here before you embarrass yourself!“Yep, It looks great. Thanks. I have to go!” I say and race out of his office. I’m pretty sure I don’t take a breath until I am outside, back in my car.
The whole way home, I can’t stop thinking about him. His perfect jaw. His gorgeous smile. How the steel blue of his eyes make you want to dive into them.
Stop. Stop it, Amber. You are doing this to help you and your mother, nothing else. Don’t think about him like this. You’ll only get hurt.
After a short drive home, I pull into the parking lot and shut off the car. Walking to the door, I start to realize how ridiculous I’m being. It hits me, what a terrible idea this must be if I already can’t stop thinking about him. What will an entire year do?
What have I gotten myself into? How am I entangling myself in a fraudulent marriage with a man I’m indebted to? A man I have history with, a man I can’t even believe I’m seeing again after all these years!
Although, I’m kind of glad I am…He’s even more handsome than I remember.
6
KADEN
It’s a beautifully warm Saturday morning, and Amber and I decide we need to start making moves toward revealing our marriage to the public. We’re in my office again, trying to think of who we’ll start with.
She’s asking about my family, but I ignore her, knowing we can’t go to my grandfather first. That would be too obvious. And to be honest, I don’t care how the rest of them find out.
We’re tossing ideas back and forth. I can’t stop looking at her hazel eyes, losing myself in them every time she looks at me.
What is the new-found attraction for them? I’ve seen them hundreds of times. What’s new about them?
She smiles at me, encouraging me to come up with something new. Then she nonchalantly bites her lip thoughtfully and laughs nervously when I catch her. Her giggle is adorable, and I don’t know why I think that I’d like to hear it more often. I shake my head, trying to toss the thoughts of her out when I think of a fantastic idea.
“How aboutyourfamily?” I call out, remembering her widowed mother. “Let’s start with your mom.”
She’s perfect because a mother’s love is always forgiving, so she hopefully won’t say anything to ruin this. If we tell the wrong person and they have doubts or voice a negative opinion, Amber might decide it’s not too late to run, and I can’t have that…
She gasps. “My mother? No way! Why would you want to start with my mother? She doesn’t even know you. There’s no way she will have anything good to say about this. Why would you even think of going there first?” she asks, obviously annoyed by my suggestion.
Damn… Come on. You have to say something to get her to agree. Her mother is going to be the easiest person to convince. If we can’t make her believe us, no one will.
If I’m being completely honest, I also want to start with her mother to solidify the agreement. Once her mother knows, it will be more difficult for Amber to change her mind. Amber is the perfect person for this, and now that I’ve set my sights on her, I really don’t want anyone else to do this with me.
“She’ll be a great one to practice on! We can work out all the kinks of telling someone the news of our phony marriage by pretending and acting like a loving couple in front of her first! A mother’s love is always forgiving. She might question your choices, but she’ll never hurt your feelings,” I say, trying to sound convincing.
