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“Then we’re living here forever?”
“Baby girl, I pray that you are.”
“Daddy, this is so confusing.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. If I could go back and change things I would, but all I can do is keep trying to make things right with your mom. I don’t want to lose her again.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
I rubbed my face, feeling the weight of her statement.
How can I do this to our daughter? How can I rip us apart when we only just found each other again?
The truth was I wanted to stay for Capri.
My parents.
Christian.
Me.
The sound of his footsteps crept close to where I was hiding, and I swear I stopped breathing until I realized he’d moved closer to Capri, probably crouching to her eye level.
The tone of his voice was laced with sincerity. “You won’t lose me, sweetheart. No matter what happens with your momma and me, I’ll always be your daddy, you’ll always be my baby girl, and nothing can ever come between that. It’s me and you forever, baby.”
She sniffled, “You promise, Daddy?”
He didn’t hesitate in replying, “Cross my heart.”
“Okay. Do you want me to talk to her? Maybe I can tell her you’re super sad and how much you want us to stay. I can help, I know I can. Momma listens to me.”
Wiping away a tear that escaped my eye, I waited on bated breath for his response.
Disappointed when he said, “You need to let the grown-ups handle their business, Capri.”
“But I want to help you. I don’t want to leave. I want to live here forever with you.”
“I’d love that more than anything.”
“Then make her stay, Daddy. Please…”
Several tears slid down the sides of my face, and I never wanted the ground to swallow me whole more than I did in that second. I wasn’t only hurting Julian, I was also hurting our daughter, and that pained me deeply.
I couldn’t listen anymore. Hurrying back inside, I busied myself with finishing up dinner and tried to keep my emotions in check in case either of them walked in. I didn’t want Capri to see me upset, or for them to know I was eavesdropping on their private conversation.
Through my haze of what-ifs, I opened the wrong drawer and came face to face with The New York Times article. Like a fucking beacon shining bright, it was staring right at me. From then on, I moved in autopilot. Opening the magazine, I found his interview and read it from his first words to his last. He opened up about everything. There wasn’t one thing he didn’t tell the public, especially his feelings and love for me.
Our history.
His remorse.
It was all there in black ink on white paper.
“Autumn was born to be mine.”
“She was made for me.”
“I fought to not love her, realizing early on how much she completed me.”
