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“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Then why are you telling me?”
“I’m not good for you. I’ve never been good enough for you.”
“That didn’t stop you from sleeping with me, did it?”
“If anything, kid, you should be thankful it was me and not some boy in the back of his car who doesn’t even know how to make you come.”
“Oh, because you did?”
“Yeah, just ask my soaking wet sheets.”
“You arrogant asshole!”
“What do you want from me? You want me to lie and tell you I love you when I don’t? You want me to hurt you more than I already am? More than I already have?”
“You know what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It hasn’t changed, it never changes. You know it as much as I do. All I’ve ever wanted is you.”
I hated that she was speaking the truth.
“I want you to look me in the eyes and swear to me that you cheated on me, and you’re not just telling me that to push me away again.”
“We’re not together, kid. I didn’t cheat on you.”
I debated for the last week if I was going to do this. If I truly had the strength to tell her this. I thought about it for hours on end, driving myself fucking insane with what the right or wrong thing to do was when it came to us.
We never had a future.
We barely had a present.
After seeing the look in her eyes during the ceremony, I knew what she was envisioning, and it was the cold, hard reality I needed to witness in order to tell her it was over. The sneaking around and lying to her brother, to her family. The only family I’d ever known. They took me in when I didn’t have anyone, and this was how I repaid them.
By fucking over their daughter.
What kind of man was I?
I was hurting her in the worst possible ways, and I had to live with knowing I did that. My hands were firmly placed in the pockets of my slacks, resisting the urge to pull her into my arms and comfort her the only way I knew how.
The second I walked into the church this afternoon, I stopped dead in my tracks just to take her in. She was a vision in her lavender gown. Her red hair was down, framing her beautiful freckled face and her bright green eyes that I lost myself in night after night.
She looked breathtaking, smiling at everyone. Always the center of attention in any room without having to try. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. It took everything inside me not to claim her right then and there. In front of her family, her friends, her brother…
My best friend.
There was no controlling the internal battle that surfaced in the forefront of my mind—it was such a wave of emotions.
It wasn’t fair.
None of this was fucking fair.
Especially to her.
When she suddenly caught my stare like she’d felt me from across the church, I didn’t look away. She was the first to break our connection, gazing at the ground instead of my eyes. Fully aware she couldn’t hide her feelings for me.
Her love.
