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My eyes widened.
The rest proceeded in slow motion. Especially when the doctor walked back into her hospital room with her test results.
Stating, “There was damage to your fallopian tubes.”
I was in medical school. I didn’t have to hear the rest. All I kept thinking was how I could have lost the love of my life. I came to with Kinley bawling her eyes out in my arms.
Big.
Huge.
Ugly tears.
I didn’t hesitate, pulling away and looking profoundly into her eyes. All I saw was my future, with her as my wife.
I made my choice. It was her.
It was always her.
So I spoke with conviction…
“Marry me, sweetness.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
—Kinley—
Now
“Mom.” I snapped out of it. “You have no idea the damage you caused that night.”
“I can only imagine.”
“No, you can’t. You want to know why? Because you ran! Like a damn coward!”
“I didn’t want to be a burden on you anymore.”
“Bullshit. You didn’t see me again because you couldn’t fucking face me, Mom. That’s what you do when the going gets tough—you run.”
“What are you talking about?” Christian asked, looking over at me.
“I never told you this, but when you left to go shower, I went to look for her. I just wanted to say goodbye. I knew she couldn’t be in my life after what had happened. I wasn’t going to lose you, Christian. I chose you.”
He jerked back, never expecting me to say that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There was nothing to tell. I went to her hospital room, and she wasn’t there anymore. Even after that day, I went to your house because I just needed to have closure. To have something for everything you’d put me through, but you weren’t there either. All your stuff was gone. The landlord said you just dipped out. Your cell was disconnected. You completely dropped off the face of the earth, and I spent the last ten years still worrying about you. How stupid am I?”
“I know, but after what I did … I was so ashamed.”
“Then you remember?”
She bowed her head, the shame eating her alive. “I asked the doctor how you were, and he said you were alright, and that was all I needed to know. I knew you were with Christian and his family. I knew they’d take care of you, protect you, be everything I wasn’t. I couldn’t destroy your life any more than I already had. I’m sorry, Kinley Care Bear. You deserved Christian and his family, not me. I left you so you could be free of me.”
“Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?”
“You’ve always been my rock, Kinley. Even as I child, I always had you there. No matter what. And I knew that. I got sober for you. I took my medication for you. I got my life together for you. The day I realized that everything I was doing in my life was for you, I relapsed. That first drink was like being reunited with you. How sad, right? It was just a domino effect after that. I tried to take my meds, thinking they would still work, and I wouldn’t be a drunk if my mind was okay.” She paused, shaking her head. “I later learned that alcohol is a depressant, and for someone with my illness, it’s like lighting a match to gas.”
“I needed closure, Mom. It was just another thing you stole from me.”
