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“Keep my shirt. It looks better on you.”
I softly smiled and backed away, not knowing how to act or even what to say. I quickly moved around his room and grabbed my stuff, realizing just how many of my things were here. For some reason, it made me feel more uncomfortable than I already was.
Was this too much? Too real for him?
I didn’t understand, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to call him out on it.
We’d gotten so close… Is he pushing me away?
Question after question tore through my mind. My thoughts ruthlessly weighed in my head. His silence was deafening, and it spoke volumes as he watched me pack up all of my belongings. It didn’t affect him like it was affecting me.
Not for one second.
When I was finished, I gazed up at him. Feeling so tiny in front of his 6’5” frame.
“What time is your flight tomorrow?”
“Before dawn.”
“Do you want me to take you to the airport?”
He shook his head.
Although he was standing before me, he wasn’t there with me. His mind was somewhere else entirely. I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to take away his normal demeanor toward me.
“So this is it? This is where we say goodbye? Like this?”
“Sophie, I…” He stopped himself.
Please say it. Just say the three words I’ve been dying to hear for the last five years.
“You what?” I baited, waiting on pins and needles.
He didn’t falter, stating, “I have to go,” in a stern tone.
“Right. Well, I won’t keep you any longer then.” I snapped around, and I expected him to stop me.
To say something.
Anything.
He didn’t.
He simply watched me leave.
No kiss.
No words.
Nothing.
Leaving me speechless, I felt as if the ground was crawling up my legs and eating me whole. I went back to my dorm, empty and alone. Laying there in my bed, I stared up at the ceiling for I don’t know how long, repeating the last thing he’d said to me in my mind.
“I have to go.”
I wracked my brain for what felt like hours, contemplating where he had to go with such urgency until I couldn’t take it anymore. There was no way I could move forward without knowing where we stood, and it was unfair that he expected me to.
I needed to hear the words, to know that I wasn’t wasting my time on him. He was leaving, and I had no idea when I would see him again.
